SFL Contest Winners Make Out Big! (but they don't make out with each other - it's not one of those kinds of sites)

Once, I dated a preaching major. For graduation he wanted a day timer so he could record his sins as they occurred. He wanted to make sure he was always on top of whether or not he was saved, cause (according to him) you just never know. I told him, "I'm pretty sure you're not saved in the first place." Surprisingly, we broke up soon after. It's been at least 15 years since that happened. He never calls or writes.

Hooray for the "Guess My SCL Blog Contest". Just as a reminder, here are the winners:

Bub
Dog Snob
Sam - who I don't think he realizes he won, but he did!!! Lucky ol' Sam.

(If you haven't already sent me your address shoot me an e-mail so I can get your gift to you.)

Because the gift needed to reflect the blog content, each winner will receive a Bible College Survival Pack. Here's a picture of what our contest winners will receive:



Here's the explanation for each piece of the gift:

1 Perfect Preacher Pocket Protector (don't panic, it's colorless so don't worry about it messing up your fashion statement)

1 red pen (because Jesus spoke in red ink and so should you)

1 highlighter for especially notable sermon illustrations

2 pens

1 set of floaties for safety while baptizing, which is a danger often overlooked

2 packs of grape Kool Aid for making communion on the go (Now I realize there are some denominations that use red wine for communion. Trust me, I would have sent it but I don't have a multi-state liquor liscense. Yet...)

1 stack of mini post it notes - for recording sins throughout the day so that you don't forget to repent

1 pack of pantyhose

1 lip gloss with a key chain that reads, "I heart Boys", signifying that if you were a Bible College chick trying to land a preacher you'd be more than happy to try your best to birth him some sons so they can go off to Bible College, become preachers, and make the family proud by wearing the same suits to class dear ol' dad wore 20 some years ago

1 pack of post it notes for writing down your sins, like my former preacher pal

1 Hose-Nose Mask - strap it over your own nose, remove the cap and green slime candy drips on your tongue - yummmm

And perhaps my favorite prizes are handkerchiefs that I personalized for each of my winners. Here are the super special personalisation messages:

Bud - S.F.L.B.C. Class of '08 Professional Pulpit Hog &
I heart B.C. Babes

Sam - Homiletics Hottie &
S.F.L.B.C. Class of 2008, Bible Banger
(Notice how Sam's handkerchief is misspelled? That's why it's best for everyone concerned I married a CPA. Not that I can add either.)

Dog Snob - my only female winner gets special hankies...
May I Water Your Camels? &
Wide Hips Increase Fellowships S.F.L.B.C. 2008

That's right, folks, I'm dangerous when it comes to puff paint. Also, notice that I have started the official Stacy From Louisville Bible College. Surely the great thinkers of all Christendom will flock. I can't guarantee you'll be accepted, but if you'd like to apply please - in 3,000 words or less - leave a comment that tells me why you might be worthy to attend such a prestigious institution. Remember, at SFL I do have standards. I just forgot where I put them.

And here's a little extra somethin'-somethin' to thank all of you for being such a good blog audience. I think I went to school with the mailman, but I can't be sure.



Don't forget to apply to SFLBC when you're done...