As you may know, from yesterday's post, I have started my own Bible College, Stacy From Louisville Bible College. Established in 2008, SFLBC seeks to equip future and current pastors and laypeople with the sarcasm necessary to survive church culture. Being in its infancy, I make up the board of directors, the teaching staff, and, of course, I'm the president. If you don't like it, go to real Bible college and see if you get a better deal. Go on. I dare you. Or, if you trust me enough to take my word for it, you can take that $9,000 a year and put it back in your pocket, after purchasing my birthday gift, of course. SFLBC is completely non-profit and free to all who choose to sit under my tutelage. (That's right, I said tutelage. I'm not as unqualified for this position as you thought!)
Samantha, a potential SFLBC applicant, was concerned that my fine institution frowned upon dancing. To clear things up, I did not say "no dancing". (Samantha, I would hope you fill out your application with more attention to detail.) I said, for the record:
1) No Mailman/Cop dancing as seen in yesterday's video.
2) No unitard dancing unless it's for ministry purposes.
3) No premarital sex (which is a different issue all together, but still.)
It goes without saying you will have an entire semester of interpretive dance. We supply super-flowing, consecrated ribbons, you supply the passion for socially awkward, ballet-like ministry at the mall. In front of Chick-Fil-A, of course. During that semester there will also be a class on the proper etiquette for wedding dancing, an excerpt of which appears below.
If any of you have further questions concerning the SFLBC policies or rules, please comment below. I will do my best to answer your questions.
Stacy From Louisville
"We do have standards. We just forgot where we put them."
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