Tuesday, January 6, 2009

The Invisible Rope

My son has the flu. For the last 24 hours I have nicknamed him "Sir Chucks-a-lot". He doesn't seem to mind. In spite of this I managed to make a lovely dinner for the family. AND! I even mustered the strength to pack leftovers into a suitable lunch for Dan. In a pink Hello Kitty plastic container. I wish I could say that's all we had available but I'd be lying. Speaking of lying...

I was, in fact, lying last night when I pretended not to hear my daughter come scrambling into the room at 1 a.m. yelling, "I hear throw ups!" After all she did tell Dan so who am I to interrupt their daddy-daughter time?

Folks, I just don't do puke. Or blood. Or make lunches in appropriate containers for CPAs who may or may not have a working lunch meeting today. What can I say? I have a blog to manage. That's enough pressure for anyone.

Yes, I realize there are other blogs out there you could be visiting right now. Some debate political policy. Others call for an end to suffering. Still others spur us on to greatness. But at SFL I'll settle for bribing any one of you to watch my kids so I can have a cigarette break. Not that I smoke, because I don't. But if it means you'll leave a funny comment on my blog I might purchase some Virginia Slims in your honor.

In the meantime, watch this. It's the kind of stuff I live for. Enjoy!



And if you haven't done so already, come join me on Facebook. (Stacy A. Small)

Read the comments! Dan responded! Start with "bman" then read through the rest of the comments until you reach my response to Dan.

38 comments:

Emily said...

Okay, where can I get one of those pink leftover containers? My uner-macho husband would shore appreciate one for his birthday!

Funny girl! I look forward to your posts!

Emily said...

where's the spellcheck? I meant uber - with the little dottie-thingies, but my keyboard doesn't offer them. :(

Anonymous said...

Your facebook link??

Helen said...

I hope your son feels better real soon.

my wv is chill. How cool is that?

Stacy from Louisville said...

Thanks Anon -
My facebook name is Stacy A. Small

Beth said...

And people make fun of mimes....

Pam said...

Loved the video~I would totally jump over the "rope"! Or walk "through" it and then fall down- just to see the look on their faces!

MrsM said...

Glad to know I'm not the only one who pretends not to hear things like "I hear throw ups" in the middle of the night lol! Hope your son feels better soon!

Dog snob said...

That video is too funny!!

teamstrand said...

my students were forced to listen to me laugh out loud on this one. love it.

Marni said...

Oooh, Hello Kitty. I gotta get one of those. My hubs is a large gun toting police detective. I ADORE packing his lunches in "chick tupperware" as he calls it so his other gun toting buds laugh at him. It's how I roll. But Hello Kitty would be SO much better than the cutesy stuff I currently use.

I'm sorry little man is sick. That stinks. I'm glad I'm not the only mom who doesn't "hear" middle of the night puking if daddy is already up and handling the situation. The guilt seems to have ebbed quite a bit. How do I ever thank you for that?

wv:slingear--what I do to the back of my Explorer when I open the back to fill it with groceries only to find the kids and the hubs have left all their softball junk in the way...

Ryan B said...

Wow. I love that video. I need to try that with my bible study sometime on one of our evandalizing trips.

sam said...

Haha i'd pay to spend a day at your house!!!

bman said...

I'm imagining your husband at his meeting. He probably took his jacket off and put it over the lunch box.
Boss: "What's that you got there?"
Husband: "Oh, uh, just my lunch."
Boss: "Great. You have some fear that one of us is going to take it? Why are you holding it so close?"
Husband: "I'm not."
Boss: "Are you calling me a liar?"
Husband: "No, I, I..."
Boss: "What's the matter with you? You're falling apart! Do you need some time off? We are downsizing, afterall."
Husband: "What? No!"
Boss: "Are you yelling at me?"

See look, you could potentially get your husband fired. Wow. That's harsh.

Her Husband said...

bman - my wonderful wife (SFL) called me at work and told me I needed to respond. So, being the obedient husband I am here here it goes...

#1 I don't wear jackets, I'm not that kind of a CPA, I'd rather be wearing jeans.

#2 Actually I work for myself which makes your comment all the more funny since the conversation you alluded to between me and my boss would actually be between me and me, which give me until the middle of march and that will probably be happening.

#3 Since I didn't get around to eating until after 1pm, I had forgotten about the wonderful lunch that was made for me and instead had soup. But don't tell my wife, when I get home I'm going to tell her how much better last nights dinner was today. (I also noticed something else in the fridge which I brought in before Christmas, dang, do you think it's still good?)

#4 Don't fret, my Hello Kitty didn't go unnoticed, with great pride I showed it to our admin. assist. when I came in this morning. I'm just that kind of a guy.

#5 As for the little guy being sick, I have never seen such a happy kid after he just puked his guts out, I really don't know where it all came from. But when he was done he still had a smile on his face. My kids are the best!!

#6 Don't tell my wife I just posted this, she will probably do a whole new post on the fact that I actually took time to post on her blog.

#6 Thanks for everyone's comments Stacy truely enjoys this community.

Gotta go, the taxes are screaming!


wv: blours - as in that's what the next 4 months of my life will be like, one big blours.

bman said...

Ha! That's awesome! This blog is fun and interactive! I like it!

Beth said...

Awwww...Stacy your hubby's the coolest. But I fear for his CPA skills if he has trouble counting to 7....

Sorry. I told my fingers to be nice, but they just kept typing!

bman said...

Zing!

Seriously, I'm coming back to this.

Stacy from Louisville said...

Dan,

Honey, your hotness quotient just skyrocketed 71.4% because of your comment. I can't wait to warm up a dinner of leftovers in your honor. I'm not promising anything but I might just schmear on some lip gloss for your home arrival.

Your Favorite Wife,

Stacy

Stacy from Louisville said...

bman,

You're always welcome at SFL. Nice to meet you.

Stacy

BeckeyZ said...

Awesome post (and comments too!) but I couldn't see the video.

Hope the little guy gets over his bug soon.

My kids are super-good about the barfs too. We have a special bowl. I know, probably tmi, but still.

bman said...

A special bowl? Well, I guess I'll find that one out when I have kids... hmm...

Stacy from Louisville said...

We have a special bowl too. It's called the toilet.

BeckeyZ said...

ROFLOL!!!! (my daughter just came and asked me if I was crying - just laughing til I cried).

My kids never make it to the toilet in time. So they get the big, blue, plastic,(former)"popcorn" bowl that got left outside and chewed on a bit by the dogs. It's called the barf bowl. Plus, with only one toilet in our house, it keeps that free for other purposes.

Rachel said...

I work in a classroom with 4 other adults. I, too, pretend to not hear barfs, and also to not see snot globs Snot globs have the potential to cause me to make barfs.

teamstrand said...

Dear Dan,

You put the boom boom into the blog.
You kept me laughing as you hid your lunchbox.
My hubby is a C-P-A.
He already talks to himself almost everyday.
But something's bothering me...something ain't right.
My cpa went back to work for the night.
You mentioned the craziness getting on in March.
He's at the office when he should be home instead!!

Mandy Leech said...

Okay Stacy. I am TOTALLY creeped out. I honestly said that I do have a special bowl,its called a toilet. I DID NOT READ THIS UNTIL 9:35pm. I DID NOT SEE THAT YOU SAID THE EXACT SAME THING ON YOUR BLOG COMMENTS. I think we are like twins or something. Whoa.....

WV: inesms What I call M&M's when I've had too much champagne.

Beth E. said...

I totally can't handle puke! Just hearing the noise it makes causes me to puke, too. :-p

Love your hubby's comments...who knew that CPA's were that funny?

Nick the Geek said...

Um, I think I worked in that mall. Yeah people are smart.

As for sick kids. We went though this strange virus that hit myself and my two daughters but thankfully missed our sons and my wife. I got sick and then threw-up once and then slept for an hour and felt better. A couple of days later the girls did the exact same thing. It was like the 3 hour flu. I wish they could all be over that quickly.

Word Verification: proforp

This is the crazy belief that forp is acceptable. I truly cannot believe the kind of people that support forp everywhere. Personally I'm very antiforp

bman said...

Stacy-You should be proud. I think this is easily the most comments based around vommit I've seen to date. Congratulations!

BeckeyZ-Seriously though, having a special bowl sounds pretty gross, but I guess practical. Especially with one toilet! But, I guess worse would be a jar... but you could call it a cookie jar of sorts...?

And, very rightfully so, my word verification is "exess" which is right where I took that... Hmm.

Anonymous said...

I have my own blue bowl actually that has been getting quite a workout since Sunday. Praytell O Stacy of the Pukes, just HOW do you get it out of the cracks between the hardwoods?
JoSista

Anonymous said...

We have always used a bucket as our special bowl. As a kid, we sometimes kept it by our bed if we were not feeling well just in case we could not make it to the bathroom. Even to this day, I still use the bucket.

Love your blog, Stacy.

WV: nothuun

I have nothuun more to say.

Max02 said...

Hahaha, I can see the video now. It wasn't until this moment that I actually understood your title, "The Invisible Rope."

I love it. I think it's brilliant.
I try to vomit as little times as possible a year. I hate it. It feels like everything inside of me is attempting to exit my body through my mouth as fast as they possibly can. Even more gross, this last time, some came out of my nostrils. Nasty.

wv: petifyi

Informational booklet for people seeking more information on pedicures.

joshua conti said...

just have to say- im laughing really loudly in my head- cus my cubicle mates might wonder whats going on =)

Julianna said...

Glad the bosses stepped out for a little while cause this was definitely laugh out loud hilarious. I am surprised I made it through all the vommit talk, but I must admit, the cookie jar - priceless.

Obviously from first sentence, I work, too, so I don't do my husband's lunches. Some may think that makes me a terrible wife, but he always gets what he wants. If I did, though I would totally use such containers every so often.

Love the invisible rope video, too!

Great post!! (and comments!)

Janie said...

Stacy, You always make me snort out loud. I'll be back in the 'ville in March and will bring you a Cuban cigar to enjoy for your cig break.

Curtis Honeycutt said...

Wow...funny video. Was that a version of Jingle Bells by Young MC?

jake - aka the comment novelist said...

i'm bawling my eyes out trying to laugh quietly at all of you so i don't wake anyone up...