Monday, April 27, 2009

Deluxe Hugs $2

When I was in high school I was a part of a clown ministry. (Cue mocking, laughing and pointing, etc.) My clown name was Sassafrass and grease paint was my spiritual gift. But you know how some people have a big heart but absolutely no clue what they're doing? (But enough about my blog...) We had someone like that in our clown troupe (which is kind of like a gang but with far less class). She had this really annoying, high pitched voice, her make-up bordered on horror flicktastic, and she carried a sign that said, "Kisses: $5.00" (Can I be the first to say I don't think it's a good idea to sell physical contact of any kind in the projects of the inner city?) Nevertheless, she followed small children and adults around trying to pawn off her clown love. Ironically she didn't have any takers. So the next day she marked them down to $4, which is a screamin' deal, but was denied. Every day it went like this: selling intimacy at bargain basement close out prices, chasing down potential customers, being loud and terrifying children. Ahhhh, missions. By the end of the week she carried a sign that said, "God's kisses are free!!", which is good to know.

When I saw this clip I had to share my clown tonsil-hockey tail. But the story pales in comparison to what you are about to watch. Before watching, take a trip to the bathroom, spit out your food, and park your kiester. Turn up your speakers and let the insanity begin.

15 comments:

Nick the Geek said...

I don't even know where to begin. I will say I've done the clown thing myself but decided the make-up hampered my clownliness.

I've never sold any physical affection though, nor bought. I'm not really a touchy feely type though so I don't even give many away for free. I'm not even into side hugs if I can avoid them.

Karen said...

I was in a clown ministry in college, too. One of the best moments ever was when we were driving to a nursing home out of town, and a car of frat boys slowed down to take the picture of the clown car on the freeway. Either that, or when we went to Wal-Mart in full costume & makeup, and terrified a small child.

katdish said...

First off: PLEASE REMOVE PENNYWISE THE CLOWN! I don't want to say I'm a clown hater, but I'm a clown hater! I think clown ministry is an oxymoron. They freak me out. And while frogs freak me out, at least the contribute to the ecosystem.

The video? Flippin' sweet! Is that your brother? "His hugs are filled with hate." Love that.

Beth said...

Awesome.

I'm with Nick. Not about a lack of make-up hampering my clownliness...but I'm generally not the hugging type unless you are in my immediate family.

I had a rough week last week. People in my church kept hugging me. The big huge metal loving', harley ridin' dude hugged me. I must of looked pretty bad....

Joanna said...

I lasted a grand total of one week in clown ministry

Jewda said...

No offense, Stacey, but I hate clowns AND hugs. Your clownmate would have given me one of two reactions as a kid, depending on my age: I would have run off crying or I would have kicked her and swiped her sign.

The video is great. If I ever see a guy giving out free hugs, I will be tempted to do this.

And on a side note, Pennywise has nothing to do with why I hate clowns. The clown in Pee Wee's Big Adventure turned me against them.

Jeff said...

$20 is a trip to the car?

That won't buy a breath mint in our neighborhood!

eastern ky pastor said...

Of course, I'm the strange one, but i saw the video as a statement about humanity and salvation. Salvation is the free hug, metaphorically. Yet, so often we believe that trying to earn or pay for salvation is the better way.

Marni said...

Clowns freak me out. But Sassafrass was a GREAT name ;-)

I passed along my clown freak gene to my kids. We were at a Relay for Life event and clowns were everywhere. And they were from a church. One tried to approach my daughter (4 years old at the time) and she starts yelling "shoo clown. No-no, don't you come by me. SHOO CLOWN!!!" I had to intervene. I'm all "honey if you want her to love Jesus, then go away and she'll give it a shot." Then again, maybe that's clown ministry's point...scare the hell out of people.

Rob said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Rob said...

The very end of the video produced one of those burst-out-loud laughing reflexes from me. Everyone in the office had to know why I was laughing. I work in a Christian ministry office. A-w-k-w-a-r-d!

Clowns are evil, have bad breath and sit on a throne of lies- "Saul confessed, 'I've sinned! Oh, come back, my dear son David! I won't hurt you anymore. You've honored me this day, treating my life as most precious. And I've acted the fool—a moral dunce, a real clown.'"
1 Sam. 26:21 (Msg)

lynnmosher said...

Stacy, I guess I'm in the minority on this one...I don't mind clowns. I came here from Hey look, a chicken! which is new to me. I'm enjoying all these new blogs. I also wanted to leave you a comment because I live in Louisville also. So great to see you! Will be back often. Love your blog! Blessings to you...Lynn

Kat(i)e said...

Can I be the confused Brit here and ask: what on Earth is Clown Ministry?! In this something you can only do at a Christian college (that's university to me I assume)? If so, is it something that every Christian college has? I literally had no idea...

Raw Faith Real World said...

CLOWNS ARE CREEPY! nuf said.

GoingLikeSixty.com said...

Hi, Here via "don't make me yell at you..."

Clown hate? Who knew?

Since I'm new to your blog, I'll reserve further comment. :)