Friday, December 12, 2008

CONTEST LOOT & Judges: It's Not Too Late!!

When it comes to contests on Stacy From Louisville there's one standard I will not compromise: class. You know, as in classy, or en vogue. My thought pattern goes something like this: "If Sassafrass labored to capture the essence of this photo, I should reward him/her according to the effort set forth." So, it is in that vein that I present to you the best seasonal merchandise The Dollar Tree, Wal-Greens, & Stumpy's Food Mart have to offer. Please say hello to...

The SFL 2008 Classy Christmas Crap Pile

The CCCP Contains the following:

One Super Dooper Reindeer Pooper - Ever seen those fancy candy dispensers that save your money and reward you with a nice gumball? This is nothing like that. It's one of Santa's reindeer helpers. When you push on his head he poops out Jelly Bellies! You can take it into work and giggle to yourself as you eat the candy. When your friends ask what's so funny you can say "Doody." (Which is a fun word to say and not used nearly enough in the English language.)

Fruit Cake - I have never eaten fruit cake. I am allergic to wheat. But I'll bet you're not! Do you know what a Christmas gift pack be without fruit cake? A Hanukkah pack. Just saying.

A Musical Christmas Tie - The tie says "Let It Snow" and plays "Silent Night". For no extra charge it's packaged in Mylar. I'm pretty sure you could leave that on there when you wear it, you know, just so you don't stain it.

One Disco Ball Ornament - Cause nothing says "class" like cut pieces of mirror stuck to Styrofoam. True story: When I purchased it the lady said, "Would you mind if I wrapped it separately? It's so pretty I wouldn't want it to break." Yeah, me neither.

One Pink Flamingo Ornament - A flamingo in a bikini with Santa boots. You'll be the envy of the neighborhood.

Jelly Belly Flavor Candy Canes


A Crisp $1 Bill (not pictured) - because "Christmas Shoes" MP3 downloads are 99 cents on Amazon!!

So there you have it, the Classy Christmas Crap Pile. Now that you've seen the prize it's important to know you have the rest of today and tomorrow to caption yesterday's picture. Enter as many times as you like.

Now, let's meet the judges.

Meet Judge #1: Paula Abdul
Miss Abdul, please describe yourself...
Paula Abdul (a.k.a. Stacey) is bright and thoughtful with a side of smartmouth. She enjoys coffee, books, taxidermy, in line speed skating, and collecting photographs of T.G. Shepherd. Humility is not her forte.

(I've known Stacey for 20+ years. She's got a huge heart and smells 83% better than most people. And that's her brother in the picture.)

Meet Judge #2: Wicked D.O.P.
And what does D.O.P. stand for? Danced On the Pulpit. That's right. In junior high, during a lock in, she mounted the pulpit for a mambo. She didn't know she was being video taped until the footage was revealed to over 200 people, including her parents. Good times.

Meet Judge #3: Curtis Honeycutt
Curtis, of Stuff Christians Like fame, is the winner of the heaven contest. Curtis has an awesome site called Just Wallpaper. He also has the skills needed to judge a photo caption contest. (Those skills being "literacy" and "super scroll down powers".)

So there you have it. All the makings for one fantastical contest. Hope you enter! And even if you don't win the mother load there may be a few honorable mentions. With SFL you never can tell.

In the meantime what's the worst Christmas decoration you've seen for sale this season?


Mandy Leech said...

Can I wrap that for you? Nobody offered to wrap the noodle sword I bought at the Dollar Tree.

Curtis Honeycutt said...

Seriously? CCCP? Too soon, SFL. Too soon.

Curtis Honeycutt said...

clarification: CCCP is Russian for USSR. I am in no way insinuating SFL is advocating communism on her blog.

Beth said...

I am unworthy in so many ways.

wv: burris.
As in..."Burris cold outside this time of year."

Ryan B said...

Looks classy.

wv: shony
Shiny + pony = shony

Alison said...

That all looks so fun...but I can't seem to come up with anything smarter than what's already out there. I'll keep thinking though...maybe my brain needs a little "Christmas Shoes" to get it going in the right direction!

Brenda said...

The worst Christmas decoration I've seen so far this season has got to be the pink flamingo in a bikini wearing Santa boots.

Rachel said...

Worst decoration ever: the dried up, falling apart, shedding, styrofoam ball and yarn sheep I made 20 years ago that Ma insists must go on the tree. Every year the sheep looses some 'wool' and becomes more emaciated looking... I think it's time for him to go to the giant spinning wheel in the sky....

wv: malit

"Oops... malit cigar almost singed your lovely snowman Christmas sweater"

Anonymous said...

I have a big disco ball Christmas Ornament on my tree!
You say that like it's a bad thing.

Marni said...

Bud Light frog ornaments. And they talk too. Wow. And I'm a little weirded out by the Cabbage Patch Kid angel ornaments I keep seeing. Who puts those on the tree? The 30 year old women of the world whose poor mothers stood in looooooong lines at Christmas time 25 years ago to get the real dolls?