The SFL 2008 Classy Christmas Crap Pile
The CCCP Contains the following:
One Super Dooper Reindeer Pooper - Ever seen those fancy candy dispensers that save your money and reward you with a nice gumball? This is nothing like that. It's one of Santa's reindeer helpers. When you push on his head he poops out Jelly Bellies! You can take it into work and giggle to yourself as you eat the candy. When your friends ask what's so funny you can say "Doody." (Which is a fun word to say and not used nearly enough in the English language.)
Fruit Cake - I have never eaten fruit cake. I am allergic to wheat. But I'll bet you're not! Do you know what a Christmas gift pack be without fruit cake? A Hanukkah pack. Just saying.
A Musical Christmas Tie - The tie says "Let It Snow" and plays "Silent Night". For no extra charge it's packaged in Mylar. I'm pretty sure you could leave that on there when you wear it, you know, just so you don't stain it.
One Disco Ball Ornament - Cause nothing says "class" like cut pieces of mirror stuck to Styrofoam. True story: When I purchased it the lady said, "Would you mind if I wrapped it separately? It's so pretty I wouldn't want it to break." Yeah, me neither.
One Pink Flamingo Ornament - A flamingo in a bikini with Santa boots. You'll be the envy of the neighborhood.
Jelly Belly Flavor Candy Canes
A Crisp $1 Bill (not pictured) - because "Christmas Shoes" MP3 downloads are 99 cents on Amazon!!
So there you have it, the Classy Christmas Crap Pile. Now that you've seen the prize it's important to know you have the rest of today and tomorrow to caption yesterday's picture. Enter as many times as you like.
Now, let's meet the judges.
Meet Judge #1: Paula Abdul
Miss Abdul, please describe yourself...
Paula Abdul (a.k.a. Stacey) is bright and thoughtful with a side of smartmouth. She enjoys coffee, books, taxidermy, in line speed skating, and collecting photographs of T.G. Shepherd. Humility is not her forte.
(I've known Stacey for 20+ years. She's got a huge heart and smells 83% better than most people. And that's her brother in the picture.)
Meet Judge #2: Wicked D.O.P.
And what does D.O.P. stand for? Danced On the Pulpit. That's right. In junior high, during a lock in, she mounted the pulpit for a mambo. She didn't know she was being video taped until the footage was revealed to over 200 people, including her parents. Good times.
Meet Judge #3: Curtis Honeycutt
Curtis, of Stuff Christians Like fame, is the winner of the heaven contest. Curtis has an awesome site called Just Wallpaper. He also has the skills needed to judge a photo caption contest. (Those skills being "literacy" and "super scroll down powers".)
So there you have it. All the makings for one fantastical contest. Hope you enter! And even if you don't win the mother load there may be a few honorable mentions. With SFL you never can tell.
In the meantime what's the worst Christmas decoration you've seen for sale this season?