I do not know your mother. I have not met her but I'm sure she is delightful. I'm sure she is thin, quite beautiful, smart as Oprah and then some, and smells like springtime. If I met your mother I'm sure it would be like skipping through wildflowers, sunlight showering over me while singing "How Great Is Your Mom"(sing with me, how great is your mom...). Yes, it would be just that spectacular.
And I'm sure you feel the same way about my mother. I'll thank you on her behalf. Imagine yummy chicken and dumplings, scrapbooking, and too many knick-knacks rolled into one stylin' heap of hugfest. That's the ray of light I call "Mom". (If anyone ever tells her I described her that way, you're dead.)
So now we're even. We've got nothin' but love for our mothers. Good. Let's move on...
I LOVE "Yo MAMA" JOKES! They're ridiculous and sarcastic and therefore I heart them. It's kind of a giddy little secret that I keep these jokes hidden away so I can have "Yo Mama" wars with friends. When you meet me in heaven I'll still be trading yo mama jokes - but not with Jesus. His mom is off limits for obvious reasons.
I'm always looking for more "yo mama" jokes to add to my arsenal. That's right, I like to keep my guns locked & loaded.
So what I'd like to suggest is that today we have a "Yo Mama" smack down. I'll share my favorite yo mama jokes if you share yours. The ones marked * are the ones I came up with on my own. Extra points if you come up with your own, too. Let's keep it clean.
On my mark....
Yo mama is so ugly yo daddy had to tie a pork chop around her neck to get the dog to come to her.
Yo mama is so fat she had to be baptized at Sea World.
Yo mama is so smelly she uses Lysol as deodorant.*
Yo mama is so dumb she signs her comments "Anonymous".*
Yo mama is so greasy you could fry chicken in her armpits.*
Yo mama is so fat she thinks gravy is a beverage.*
Yo mama is so fat she thinks dunkin' donuts is a new water park.*
Yo mama is so dumb she thinks The Food Network delivers.*
Yo mama is so slow it takes her 2 hours to watch "60 Minutes".
That's all I've got. What about you? Don't you have a favorite? This could make history. Let's set the bar high, for posterity's sake. Leave your comment here. Yo mama would want you to.
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