Monday, August 18, 2008
Labels: Bible College - Be Afraid
In 1992 I graduated from High School. The world was my oyster. (I don't really know what that means, but I've always wanted to say it.) I was going to shuck it for all it was worth and then some. But I wasn't going oyster shucking for myself, I was doing it all for Jesus. That's right my friends, I was headed to Bible College. (Where, coincidently, I never ate shellfish of any kind. Dang.)
Bright and shiny, squeaky clean, glittering with sage wisdom, Bible College. In my mind I had it all figured out. I was immersing myself in the think tank of all Christendom - everyone there, young and old, would adore me. Mothers would want their daughters to be just like me. Guys would want to date me. Professors would shamelessly beg for my theological insight. Flowers would bloom and angels would sing everywhere I went. We would all laugh, and hug, and sing "Kum-by-Ya". I would surely help usher in the greatest revival of all time. It would be holier than heaven itself.
Then I got there.
And realized it sucked.
I guess it's not so much that it was so sucktacular, it's more that the culture of the whole thing was just plain weird. That's not to say that I didn't have fun while I was there or that I didn't get a good education. It's just that Bible College is so....so....well, it's Bible College.
Take everything that drives you nuts about church culture. Throw it into really close living quarters. Take away deodorant, fashionable clothing, and common sense. Fold in a hymnal, a few suits from the 80s, and a curfew. Sprinkle it with controversy and lint from the pockets of scary elders. Add 1/2 cup of angst from trying to maintain technical virginity, and ta da! Instant Bible College. (Some assembly required.)
This week we will discuss the ins and outs of Christian education at its best and worst. If I lived this for 4 years and paid about $30,000 for it, surely you can come along with me as we hop, skip, and jump (over land mines) down memory lane. Surely my experience will not be the same as yours. I'm the first to acknowledge that I graduated 12 years ago and much has changed in church culture since then, so presumably Bible Colleges, Christian Universities, and Seminaries have also changed. Yet still, I have a hunch that some things will never change.
If you never went to Bible College this will be all new to you. That's fine because I'll hold your hand and lead you gently. If you're one of the lucky few who did attend I'll be more than happy to indulge your guilty pleasure, you name it. Mrs degrees? Briefcases with no real purpose? Delivering a pretend eulogy while a classmate lays on a table next to you, pretending to be dead? If you have an idea or experience, let me know. Otherwise, let the antics begin!
Posted by Stacy from Louisville at 4:51 AM
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