Every person in my house has a sinus infection. That's 8 nostrils plugged or running like a faucet. My son was the first to get sick. He decided to let me in on it by wiping his nose on 3 couch cushions. Disgusting? Yes. So when you come over to my house you don't have to park your rear on my sectional. I don't blame you at all. You can sit on the carpet...
Once, when my daughter had the spew flu and decided to decorate the carpet, I thought I'd die. You know what I mean: chunckage + wool = I'd rather sell the house than clean it up. I begged a friend to let me borrow her steam rug cleaner. With a little effort the carpet was like new. Thankful for her help, I returned the cleaner. Only I forgot to change the water from the suction chamber. Interestingly, when that friend moved she forgot to tell me. I thought that was kind of sucky, but in a completely different way.
Snot. Puke. Two totally disgusting - and embarrassing - issues. It's a general theory of mine that bodily fluids should never be discussed. Unless it's funny. So I'm wondering if you have a funny snot, pee, poop, puke, story. I'll go first:
A friend of mine had a baby in November and chose to breast feed. In January she ventured to the mall between feedings, sans baby, to return something. Though it was freezing she left her coat in the car, reasoning she'd be in and out quickly. She ended up being in the store much longer than she intended. So much so, her milk came in while she was checking out, and that took longer and longer...until her shirt was soaked through. And she had no coat. She left the store but couldn't remember where she had parked. By the time she got in her car her shirt was frozen... Frozen. To. Her. Chest. (Which makes me wonder if we've got any ice cream because my throat sure hurts...)
So please, let's share some gross and embarassing stories. Like, say, when you have a big blow out sneeze and get boogers in your hair but no one tells you. (Not that this ever happened to me...) Stuff like that. And there's always fart stories, burping, puke... Or, being impaled with a 3 inch splinter in the left butt cheek while sunbathing, having a Bible college male prof wanting to remove it with pliers, but deciding to have it surgically removed, then getting notes for weeks telling said person not to worry about the splinter of wood in other people's eye until taking care of the shard of wood in your own butt, then being called Shard Butt for months. You know, embarrassing stuff.
So dish already!
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