Monday, March 30, 2009

OUCH!

The day after Dan and I got married we had a party for our out of town guests. (We got married in AZ and had many guests from IN, FL and KY.) Looking back I think the reception would have sufficed.

Not wanting to get the boom-chicka-bow-wow look from everyone in the room we made sure we were the first to arrive. As it turns out it wouldn't have mattered what time we showed up. The wedding party, our dearest friends, made it a point to make eye contact with Dan or I and mutter, "Uh-huh" while raising eyebrows and lifting glasses to toast us. But my mother took the cake. In a private moment she put her hand on my back and delicately whispered, "Is there anything you want to ask you mother?" So I said, "No. But Dan's dying to talk to you."



OUCH! So there you have it.

So please, do dish. I really can't wait for the comments on this one. Especially from Nelson's Mama.

26 comments:

Donna said...

ROFLOLPIMP!!!




wv: ostinga

not EVEN going there.......

Candace Jean July 16 said...

That was awesome - haven't laughed that hard for a week! "Has the train arrived..." I'm ROFL with Donna.

wv: genti

yeah, I'm not going there either

Alison said...

Genius!

Ladies - nice job on the wv! How did you manage to pull something that great? Or did you just wait till you got a good one? ;-)

Skerrib said...

Harry Enfield = awesome. TI've been stuck having to explain a thing or two to my mom before. Not entirely sure how I got here, come to think of it.

Annie K said...

I woulda offered up the 'video'.

What? Not every couple has one?

WV: Viree

Ok, Stacy...do you manipulate the word veri? If so, you are awesome.

Stephanie said...

Oh gosh, I think my cheeks would have turned Crayola "Torch Red" right before I melted into a pool of complete and total embarrassment!! Seriously, I was so embarrassed when we checked into our hotel, I mean I was wearing my wedding dress and everything, so I knew they knew what was about to happen and that was enough to make me want to hide from the front desk clerks that kept gushing over me, the "blushing (literally) bride". The whole week of our honeymoon I avoided seeing people at the hotel and at breakfast I felt like I needed to keep flashing my ring finger so that people knew that we were, in fact, married....like it would be a sin for two young people to go to breakfast together, I just knew people knew by looking at us (sheesh!). Crazy what you think and do when you're young!


WV: beendea

beendea done dat

bridget said...

Gregory Corso's response to, erm, "honeymoon looks" is probably my favorite part of any poem ever written: "I'd almost be inclined not to do anything!
Stay up all night! Stare that hotel clerk in the eye!
Screaming: I deny honeymoon! I deny honeymoon!"

http://www.cs.rice.edu/~ssiyer/minstrels/poems/1570.html

Marni said...

As I live and die, my wv is...comed. I'm letting that lie. You're welcome.

Marni said...

Stephanie...I did that same thing girl! I was all avoiding the hotel clerk's knowing eyes, the room service dude's knowing eyes and wouldn't look at anyone in the elevator. Looking back on it, what a hoot!! My hubs on the other hand is strutting around like the world's most famous stud. He's getting the knowing winks, and probably a few high fives for all I know.

And a quick honeymoon story if I may. My hubs was a brand new police recruit when we got married. His dad was a veteran officer. As a gift for our wedding night, the in laws put us up at a 4 star hotel and got us the suite. A few hours into our wedding night, things we starting to get fun...and all of the sudden, our room is lit up like Yankee Stadium. My father in law got his helicopter buddies on the department to buzz our room in "Air One" (an official police helicopter) and hit our room with that giant helicopter spotlight!!!! Now, after years of therapy, I can laugh about it.

And Stacy, what you said to your mom is pure awesomeness!!!! :)

alicia said...

that is beyond words... thanks for the laugh Stacy!

Helen said...

I was reminded of the Honeymoon Hotel.

wv frotalli-- ;-)

teamstrand said...

as i was about to walk down the aisle my mom said "just remember, what comes in must come out"

Rebecca Jo said...

Oh my gosh.. that is too funny! I love her knitting!!!

I would bust out laughing if my mom asked me that on my wedding day! But my best friend did tell me when we were talking "You know that everyone knows what you two are going to be doing tonight"... I never even thought of that... then I was just embarassed the whole time!

Stacy from Louisville said...

Teamstrand-
I would have died.

Rebecca Jo-
At the reception Dan and I were dancing. Someone cut in to dance with Dan. A friend saw what happened and said, "Are you mad?" I said, "She can dance with him. As long as she doesn't show up at the hotel later I'm good."

K Storm said...

This is so funny!

Marni said...

The pastor that did our pre-martial counseling was awesome. But the BEST advice we got came from his wife...who pulled me aside and told me "Always go to the bathroom before and after. You won't ever get urinary tract infections if you do". Sage advice my friends.

Helen said...

Marni, him too?

Skerrib said...

Marni's right. I had to learn from the lady-doc.

Stacy said...

I laughed a lot, then forwarded the video to my husband.
The hotel we stayed in on our wedding night was the same one that our out of town guests stayed in. Fortunately there weren't any pranks during the night, but eating breakfast with my GRANDMOTHER the next morning was a bit awkward!

stacie said...

I, too, was embarrassed when checking into the hotel - even though we were wearing regular clothes and the person at the front desk had no idea that we had just gotten married!

Not that they would have cared if we HADN'T been married, but I also made sure my left hand stayed up on the counter, so they'd know we were "legit."

I was 34 and my husband was 40, so it wasn't like we looked like kids sneaking around or something, either, but I couldn't help it - it was just so WEIRD to be checking into a hotel room with a MAN! (I've since gotten used to it.)

(And, yes, Marni...the bathroom advice really works! I get a UTI everytime I forget to "go.")

Nick the Geek said...

I just wish I had known about this video back when I did my Love, Lust, and Sex series with the Youth in February. Oh well.

When my wife and I got married it was also in AZ. Interesting. Very northern AZ not far from the Hoover Dam. Her dad pastored a pink church shown in the film "Mars Attacks"

Anyways, most of my family wasn't able to make it because they are in Georgia and Alabama. Chances are good that I'm related to Jon when you consider how things are in Georgia. We had our honeymoon in Georgia at a really nice retreat up in the Mountains north of Atlanta. After that week we had a second reception in North Georgia so my family could be there and share in some part with the wedding.

My mother-in-law told us "not to have sex till after the second reception because it would be unfair to Nick's relatives." I told her she was insane and we've been on lovely terms ever since.

On a totally unrelated note, thanks so very much for your prank idea. It has morphed into something quite incredible. Can't say anything yet, but I will post the follow up tomorrow. I'm so very excited.

Jeff said...

conjugal unpleasantness & the act of frightfulness...


no comment

Jeff said...

@ stacie -

They know how long you've been married by how many bags your husband is carrying in and by the fact that he got the keys went out to the vehicle, you went in... he came later looking like a pack mule...

If he opened the door for you and your standing close at the counter together it is the honeymoon...

Saddest thing I ever saw... we were checking out of a hotel last month and a (young grandpa) gentlemen was trying to fit everything into the van. By family resemblance, I would say it was Grandpa, grandma (in their forties) two daughters (maybe twins) and each had a daughter maybe a year different in ages... one man 5 females and a van and a half full of luggage. HE WAS SMILING THOUGH...

stacie said...

Jeff -

Ah, true...we weren't as inconspicuous as we thought!

Now, though, I am the one who goes in and gets the keys because usually by the time we arrive, I can't stand another minute being cooped up in the car with kids.

He (and the kids) do carry in most of the luggage, though. :)

Avian said...

I like to tell women who I know are pregnant: I know what you've been doing.
That cracks me up.
Hilarious video!!

Caitlyn said...

I spent a lot of our engagement reading at www.themarriagebed.com (great site, btw) so I was pretty okay with most of it...except then we managed to lose all my street clothes and the lube (and a few other essentials) between the reception and the hotel suite! The next morning we had to call around and it turned out my younger sister had packed them all up for us, so we had to pick them up from my parents' house and that was so embarrassing...for a minute there I just wanted to buy new shoes and more coconut oil (which is what I use for lube and is *amazing*) and run for it.