Wednesday, May 6, 2009

The Stacy From Louisville Get-Off-Your-Duff-And-Find-Your-True-Calling-Guide 2009

Have you ever taken a spiritual gifts inventory only to get half way through and think, "Why so many freakishly ridiculous questions?" Or, do you sometimes wander out of doors, look down at your hip pack so stylishly festooned around your waist and say, "O, Mr. Fanny, how do you think we could best serve at church?"

Well wonder no more, my friends.

Here at Stacy From Louisville I believe everyone should serve in their church or community. That's why I'm here to administer the official Get-Off-Your-Duff-And-Find-Your-True-Calling-Guide 2009

It's very simple. To successfully find your prime area of service all you need to know are your initials. Below you will find 3 lists, one for each initial of your first, middle and last name. (If you do not know your initials please use WTC, for What The Crap is wrong with you.) Put the phrases together and you'll find out the best use of your talents.

For example, my initials are SAS. That would make me a: "Giddy Collate Wearing Failing Seminary Student". WOW! That sounds like it's right up my alley. Good thing I live in the same town as a major seminary. Can't wait to enroll, flunk out, and look stylish (in an 80s Brownie Troupe Leader kind of way) doing it.

So now it's your turn. In the comments section please be sure to share your new calling. We'll all be edified I'm sure.

Please send this to anyone in need. Oh the lives we'll change, dear readers. Churches all over the world will never be the same.

First Letter of Your First Name

A - Darling

B- Crazy

C - Chortling

D - Dainty

E - Leotarded

F - Obtuse

G - Farty

H - Obscure

I - Glittery

J - Twitchy

K - Annoying

L - Confused

M - Craptastic

N - Maladjusted

O - Obsessive

P - Enchanted

Q - Rashy (I really hope you don't have "Q" in your name)

R - Fandangaled

S - Giddy

T - Sweaty

U - Itchy

V - Irregular

W - Squinty

X - Sunshiny

Y - Stagnant

Z - Dogmatic

First Letter of Your Middle Name

A - Coulatte Wearing

B - Paint Sniffing

C - Casserole Burning

D - Pork Rind Sucking

E - Billy Mays Loving

F - Tattooed

G - Belly Dancing

H - Tight Fisted

I - Jazzercising

J - Runny Nosed

K - Asphalt Eating

L - Gnome Whittling

M - Pansy Throwing

N - Weepy Eyed

O - Bunion Scratching

P - Accident Prone

Q - Garden Weasel Toting

R - Hymnal Sniffing

S - Cowbell Demanding

T - Hula Curious

U - Super Hot

V - Bunny Suited

W - Slightly Confused

X - Paste Eating

Y - Swine Flu Masked

Z - Rim Spinning

First Letter of Your Last Name

A - Church Secretary

B - AWANAS volunteer

C - Live Christmas Tree Singer

D - Pulpit Hog

E - Broom Twirling Janitor

F - Missionary

G - Sunday School Teacher

H - Clown Troupe Member

I - Interpretive Dancer (with ribbons)

J - Worship Band Drummer

K - Bible College Graduate

L - Hymn Yodeler

M - Organist

N - First Time Visitor

O - Bi-Polar Member of The Counseling Staff

P - Paranoid Usher

Q - Overemotional Worship Leader

R - Church Planter

S - Failing Seminary Student

T - Bible Banger

U - Pastor's Wife

V - Van Driver

W - Left Behind Author

X - Women's Retreat Planner

Y - Sound Board Dude

Z - Bible Study Drop Out


John Dent said...

Twitchy paint sniffing pulpit hog!

tabitha said...

Sweaty, Gnome whittling, Sunday School teacher.

Thank you so much for this test. For years I've have taken the spiritual gifts tests and haven't ever agreed with their answers.

This test is perfect! For once I am pleased with the answer and can now get on with life.

Again, thank you. I'm now off to sweat and start learning how to whittle gnomes. Oh! and I need to call my church to let them know I'm going to start teaching Sunday School. Wait! Our church doesn't have Sunday School...what am I going to do?!

Sarah said...

Giddy Asphalt-eating Missionary, yep, that's me!

What does asphalt-eating mean, though? Am I supposed to fall smack on my face on the pavement repeatedly at lunchtime? Or should I just chow down on a crazy mix of cement, tar, and gravel every day for breakfast?

You tell me, then I'll do it. I'll take my freak show nationwide, to all the churches and outreach centers, and hopefully the Holy Spirit will work in the hearts of those who point and laugh at me. That way, I'll definitely fulfill my missionary calling.

One can dream...

Jenny said...

Irregular cowbell demanding clown troupe leader. Who knew?

Helen said...

Obscure pansy throwing organist

Uh oh. Must buy organ and take lessons now. I think I can manage being obscure and throwing pansies.

momagain67 said...

Dainty, Gnome whittling, paranoid usher...well I've been needing something new to put in my garden.

Beth said...

Crazy Hymnal Sniffing Failing Seminary Student!

Donna said...

Dainty Gnome Whittling Hymn Yodeler.....

what i've always wanted to be....

Helen said...

Obscure pork-rind sucking clown troupe member... although I'm not entirely sure a clown can be obscure, and I am now slightly frightened of myself.

aussiechook said...

I'm a twitchy pork-rind sucking missionary! Amen to that, sister!

eastern ky pastor said...

Leotarded Asphalt Eating Paranoid Usher

I just can't imagine myself in a leotard. I do drive a lot for visiting. And I'm not paranoid, people really are after me. I just don't know about being an usher though....

Thanks for the fun!

Kelly said...

Confused Asphalt-Eating Missionary

Mandy Leech said...

I'm a darling, runny nosed hymn yodeler. :) (Those smashed, mauve, under-the-chairs kleenex boxes just don't serve my kind)

Brenda said...

What is a collate? Do you mean culottes? I'm going to assume that is what you mean.

Crazy, culotte wearing, failing seminary student.

I really shouldn't be failing seminary if I'm wearing those attractive culottes. Maybe it's the fact that I'm crazy? Well, actually all that goes hand in hand, right?

katdish said...

You're such a bee-atch!

Annoying Pork Rind Sucking Church Planter

Stacy from Louisville said...

Who knows? All I know is I can't find them anywhere, which is sad.

Beth E. said...

According to your Guide, my calling is: Crazy Tight Fisted Broom Twirling Janitor. I think this perfectly describes my life in our home already!!! LOL

Candace Jean July 16 said...

Chortling Runny Nosed Failing Seminary Student. You happy now??

sara said...

Giddy Asphalt-Eating Live Christmas Tree Singer Bi-Polar Member of The Counseling Staff

If you leave out my maiden name, then it's just

Giddy Asphalt-Eating Bi-Polar Member of The Counseling Staff am I clumsy or hungry?

BunBun the Cottontailed Rabbit said...

Crazy Casserole Burning Church Planter


Annie said...

Darling Casserole Burning AWANAS Volunteer!

Now, how did you know that I JUST finished scrubbing a pot I'd burned soup in (leaving it a casserole-thickness MESS) after attending a VBS planning meeting. Similarities abound!

And, of COURSE, I'm very darling. Anyone who knows me will tell you that!

Seriously, thanks for the giggle.

Pam said...

Enchanted Pansy throwing clown troupe member -- before I was married, apparently I should have been yodelling hymns. Who knew?

Saskia said...

Giddy Pansy throwing Bible banger. The only problem with this method is that I now may know my true calling, but I don't know what my true calling is...

rk2 said...

Fandangled Asphalt Eating Bible College Graduate

"Do you want to supersize that value meal?"

Nelson's Mama said...

Dainty, Cowbell Demanding, Hymn Yodeler!

Lisa Karon Richardson said...

Confused, asphalt-eating, church planter

erikivan74 said...

This is so wrong! R.O.N.G., WRONG! Leotarded Jazzercising Church Planter

Beth said...

ERS= Leotarded Hymnal Sniffing Failing Seminary Student.

I think "leotarded" is my new favorite word. You rock, Stacy!

Rebecca Jo said...

Fandangled Runny Nosed Van Driver.... oh my!

Wendy said...

Squinty Casserole Burning Sunday School Teacher.

Yup, that about sums it up.

Amelia said...

Darling pansy throwing clown troupe member!

This is true on so many levels. Also my fiance fears clowns, so win-win.

SirMax said...

Squinty belly dancing church planter!!!


I wonder if that's what it takes to get people to come to church????

Marni said...

Craptastic Pansy-Throwing Left Behind Author

Yup. That's me!!!

wv:procrimp--I think I had one of those in the 80's and used it on my hair to achieve those huge Madonna hairdo's I rocked.

Marni said...

Katdish, when I got to yours, I about peed myself. That's awesome. You should create a badge and put your calling on your website since you have fulfilled your calling.

I don't know about pansy-throwing, I'll have to pray about that...but being a craptastic Left Behind author truly is my calling. Except that freakin Tim LaHaye jacked my calling. Now what am I supposed to do?? Maybe if I go back to my maiden name...

Shark Bait said...

Craptastic Pork-Rind Sucking Left Behind Author

Oooh. Look at me, I'm craptastic!

jen said...

Oh, Ryan will be so excited that I'm a "Twitchy, Runny Nosed, Church Planter." At least he's a "Fandangled, Runny Nosed, Church Planter." What's with the runny noses? Maybe Seattle is going to be very bad for our allergies.

Erin said...

Leotarded, pansy throwing, failing seminary student.

Phew. For a second I thought I had failed in my spiritual gifts since I graduated. Then I realized I did so without a husband. What good is an MTS if you're not an MRS?

I'm confident my leotard-cladded figure will attract a mate soon.

Anonymous said...

Annoying Tattooed Church Secretary.
lol...welllll, I've never been a church secretary, not sure I'd wanna be...I am tattooed...and maybe I could be slightly annoying, sometimes... :-)

OhioBJAE said...

Twitchy Gnome Whittling Clown Troupe Member

Thanks I think that is just the position open at my church right now! I wasn't going to apply, but now I know it was meant for ME!!!

Kate said...

DKWR - Dainty, Asphalt-Eating, Slightly Confused Church Planter...

You would be slightly confused, too, if you were trying to eat asphalt, plant a church, and look dainty all at the same time!

Skerrib said...

Annoying, pansy throwing AWANA volunteer.

This is awesome. It changed my life a little bit.

Rachel said...

Fandangled Accident-prone missionary!

Anonymous said...

Craptastic Billy Mays loving church planter.

I knew my calling was going to be good when it started out with "craptastic."

Alison said...

Darling Accident Prone Van Driver

I used my maiden name because I thought it created more irony in the accident - driver relationship. :)

Anonymous said...

Sweet I always wanted to be a twitchy belly dancing Worship team drummer! It seemed so selfish, but now I see that God made me this way....

THANK YOU SFL and God bless us everyone!

Taryn said...

Sweaty, Billy Mays Loving, Church Secretary

Now I know just the job to look for! And I can clean all my sweat stains with my lovely Billy Mays cleaning products!

Ruth said...

Having taken your test, I've decided to revert to my maiden name, which makes me a

Fandangaled Coulotte-wearing Van Driver.

My married name starts with W.

fredp. said...

Obtuse casserole-burning paranoid usher.

Hmmmm. Too true, too true.

IcthyGirl! said...

Fandangled Gnome Whittling Church Planter. I have found my calling!