Monday, February 9, 2009

Women: Know Your Limits!

My husband and I had a date Saturday evening. He got ready and asked me, "How do I look?" Gently I reminded him, "Honey, I'm eye candy. No one will be looking at you." Just goes to show you that every once in awhile we all need a nudge back to reality.

Tomorrow we will venture back into relationship territory. But for today I wanted to share this insightful documentary. Watch it with an open mind. And by all means, apply what you learn, especially at church. Ladies, we can't have you understanding too much about your own salvation, now can we? Just go back to the nursery, put on an apron, rock a crying child, and think about being prettier.

For now, what's the most ridiculous thing you ever heard someone say in public?

I'll go first. A girl I went to Bible college with had a job in the school's main office. Her cubicle was plain and she decided to spruce it up. Someone walked by and said, "Katie, what are you doing?" She smiled and said, "I'm decorating my pubical." Oops.


heartafire said...

Great post, Stacy.
Here is my awful, overheard-in-public moment:

I was standing in a fairly long line at a Quik-Mart around 11:30 one night, and the following exchange took place:

Guy: Hey.... I remember you.
Girl: Uh, yeah, when was that? All I remember is, Dude, YOU SNORE.
Guy: Yeah, so do you.

Dead silence.

[Others in line try not to make any eye contact.]

This was about a year ago, and I still cringe to think of it.

Beth said...

A few years ago I was watching the news and they had the time filler story at the was about a snake that ate an entire goat in four hours. That in itself was hilarious...but there's more! When they cut back to the local news team the weekend sports guy said, "You know I can eat a whole goat in under an hour."
The rest of the news team just stared in horror and then they cut to commercial.

It. Was. Awesome.

Tasty said...

A wild and dangerous opinion of her own! For shame!

BWAH, beard growth!!!!!

What show was this from? It was really, I mean REALLY funny!

OhioBJAE said...

When I lived in Orlando, back in the 90's. The local news was doing a story on mosquitoes. They ended the segment w/ a close up of a mosquito that filled the tv screen. Cut to the weather girl saying "They sure are scary when they're life sized".


Marni said...

Hmmm. I've got a good one. But I'll have to edit it somewhat. My sister in law is very, very blonde both in hair color and demeanor. And she has said some doozies over the years that keep us all in hysterics. Especially when we gang up on her at holidays and play "remember when she said blah blah blah".

The rest of these postings are hilarious!! I can't wait to see what other people write ;)

So here's my ridiculous story. My sweet sister in law works in a large company and is well known there because she's high up on the food chain. She goes out to the parking lot to leave for a lunch meeting and her battery is dead. She goes back into the building lobby--which is an atrium type area that's wide open to the second and third floors and intends to yell out "Can anyone come out to the parking and jump me off?" but instead yells out "Can anyone come out to the parking lot and ja_k me off?". Dead silence followed by shrieks of laughter ensue. She catches on to what she has yelled out and begins looking for a hole to crawl in to.

Julianna said...

This isn't something I overheard, but it goes with your story.

For my research paper in my very conservative bible college I chose Religion in Public Schools. When I went for my one-on-one meeting with my very dorky male teacher he very casually pointed out my repeated major spelling error and said to make sure I corrected it. Then transitioned into something else really fast. I looked down and saw that in a few places in the paper I had typed pubic instead of public. Of course spell-check doesn't fix that kind of problem.

Skerrib said...

Dude, Marni--awesome. I used to work in a building with an atrium, so I can just picture the situation. Yikes.

Mine was not quite in public, but I was at work. My co-worker was trying to make a repair to something or other on his desk. I looked thru my desk for potentially-helpful items and came up with very little, except a small screw. Wanting to be helpful I said "You wanna screw?" to which he replied "No thank you," and we laughed and I turned bright red.

There are others, but that's my crassest so far.

teamstrand said...

A couple Easters back, the Youth at church were serving breakfast before the service. They were serving quiche and sticky buns. The pastor announced "And be sure to stop in the fellowhip hall before the late service and grab a sticky bun and a quickie"

I laughed out loud.

teamstrand's brother said...

I said the stupid thing:

As a pastor, I get nervous every Mother's Day because you really risk AT LEAST two very dangerous things when you preach the obligatory "Being a Proverbs 31 Woman" sermon: #1 is making some woman in the room feel crappy because they feel they don't measure up to the ultimate level of Biblical womanity (rhymes with humanity...just coined it...use's a freebie). #2 is making some women feel they absolutely do measure up to - and possibly exceed - the womanity quotient; thereby making them insufferable.

So I choose 2 Thessalonians 2:7-9 where Paul equates his deep love and hard work for the sake of the Gospel that to that of "a mother caring for her little children". I began to encourage the church to develop these characteristics of a good mother as we bring the Gospel to our city and I paused for second for effect and then declared, "Word of Life (the name of our church)...if we would only WORK LIKE A MOTHER, we will change this city for the glory of God!"

A high school student said that should be our new church slogan: "Come to Word of Life...we work like a mother..."

teamstrand's brother said...

actually its 1 bad

kleighj said...

heartafire, you made me laugh out loud!

Anonymous said...

Waht a perfect interpretation of the KJV rendition of Ephesians 5

teamstrand said...

team strand's brother reminded team strand of another funny saying my pastor said...when talking about life without Christ he said that it would be like "a juggler without balls"

bman said...

Holy crap that was funny! I almost like the first paragraph better than the video!

Um... most ridiculous thing I ever heard said...

I walked past a guy who was on a cell phone, and these were the words I heard (censored): " a f****ing rhino shopping for windows and s***..."

Yeah, that's the best thing I heard out loud.

My wife was at school the other night in her class about Jesus' ministry when her teacher mispoke and said "erection" instead "ressurrection." HAHA!

Boy I miss having more time to read your blog! Stupid working...

Anonymous said...

I work with 5 other ladies in a special needs classroom, and we were having our weekly 15-minute meeting. Toward the end, discussion turned to the weather and the snow that was supposed to fall overnight. Thinking optimistically, I said "Well, I guess I'll go to bed with my phone on the nightstand" (in anticipation of a 'snow-chain' call). The ladies I work with somehow heard that as "Well, I guess I'll go to bed with a one-night stand."