Perhaps one of the most hotly debated issues around Christmas is whether or not, as Christians, we're supposed to tell our children about Santa. You know as well as I do that this determines your worth as a parent.It's kind of like the whole Amy Grant situation. As the years pass, I can't remember if we're still supposed to be mad at her or not. To El Shaddai or not El Shaddai; that is the question. Same with Santa.Once, in a women's group, I mentioned taking my kids to visit Saint Nick. As soon as I said it, one mom said, "We choose not to lie to our children. If we lie to them about Santa they'll think we're lying about Jesus. Then where would we be?" She made a good point. As my kids and I keyed her Mercedes later that day I couldn't help but wonder if my children would be scarred for life because of Santa Claus? Was I doing irreversible damage? I lost a good 20 minutes of sleep that night wondering...
That was 3 years ago. Today I have come to my senses. I know that not everyone will agree on the issue of Saint Nick, but we have to admit, he's here to stay. So if by chance you find yourself debating whether or not to take your kids to see Santa this season, you've come to the right place.
In order to help you distinguish Christian Santas from heathen ones I have devised the following points system. Before taking your child to see Father Christmas observe him according to the following scale. Add and subtract points according to your observations.
The Stacy From Louisville Christian Santa Assessment
Santa says, "Merry Christmas!" +4
Santa says, "Happy Holidays!" -2
There's a nativity set up beside Santa's chair. +3 points
There's a nativity set up beside the chair with a fiber optic reindeer as the focal point. -3 points
There's a baptistery every child must be dunked in before he can speak to Santa. +2 points
A kid nearly drowned in it because an elf took a cigarette break. -4 points
Santa has a tattoo of a cross. +1 point
Santa has a tattoo of himself. -2 points
Santa says, "Truth is, I'm not real. Not at all. But Jesus is real and He loves you!" +2 points
Santa wears a t-shirt that says, "My Boss Is A Jewish Carpenter". +2 points
Santa wears a t-shirt that says, "I like your cookies!" (I'm talking baked goods here people! Get your mind out of the gutter!) -2
On the back of his sleigh Santa has a big Christian fish and 8 smaller ones for each reindeer. +2 point
On the back of his sleigh Santa has a rusted out bumper and inappropriate mud flaps. -2 points
For Christmas Santa gives your son a polyester suit and a scholarship to Bible college. +4 points
For Christmas Santa gives your daughter an ankle-length skirt and an Mrs. Degree. -4 points
Santa smells like soft notes of sweet baby Jesus and candy cane. +3
Santa smells like Hickory Farms and cigarettes. -2
Santa just got back from a mission trip. +2
Santa just got out on a work permit. -3
So, how did your local Santa score? Perhaps you saw other questionable behavior. What guidelines would be deal breakers for you? Help me add to the list...








