Prankfest Vol. I: Cunning & Craigslist

I am the Kung-Fu Master of practical jokes. With stealth like accuracy I hone in on my victim. When they are least suspecting it, Hiiiiiii YAH! I strike, leaving devastation in my wake. It is important that you know this about me because it is one of my spiritual gifts. It is not too much to say that I am the stuff of legends. One day in the nursing home, when all I have left are floral nightgowns and jello salad, I will still be pranking people. So when your time comes, choose a facility carefully or you might wake up to find your support hose are filled with Preparation H. That's just how I roll.

So welcome to my first recurring post, Prankfest. Much like the masked magician who gives away other magicians' secrets, I will let you in on some of my more delinquent trickery. I do this as a public service, really. Sadly, there are some among us who are, to put it delicately, prankagely challenged. They want to prank, they do! They long to soar on the wings of deception, racing skyward as mocking laughter carries them up, up, up to the heights of bright and shiny sarcasm. But alas, they are wearing leaded loafers. These are the prankless, the children that hijinks left behind.

Well fear not my orphaned friends! My hoaxes are not copy written. Steal them, I say! And because you are a virginal pranker, no one will ever suspect you. It is in this vein that I submit to you one of my more recent pranks.

Cunning & Craigslist

My husband loves me and knows how I am. Mind you, he's got a few tricks up his sleeve, too. But I digress. He is a straight laced CPA. He works in a sterile hovel of an office with a 10 key calculator and a stack of tax forms. He is analytical with a dry sense of humor. When he's at work, though, he's so focused on the task at hand that he has time for little else, including my shenanigans. And this is what makes him a perfect target.

One day, whilst paroozing Craigslist I stumbled upon the following ad:

Tailgate, Party Bus, Travel Bus, Camper $7000 Louisville, KY

This was just too easy. Here's the written response:

"This perfect for me. I do travil carnival family business, wuld like so very much your bus so my wives and childrens not have to ride with peting animal zoo no more. Have cash from recunt selling of ostrich and churros machine. Please you write back soon to this uhdress (insert husband's work e-mail). I am Dan. I pay you for bus soon as I look, must be sure it can be gutted and have rume for travel beds. Does bus have working toilet with seat? My wives be so very happy. So much thanking to you, Daniel"

It was a thing of glory.

They contacted him. What I wasn't counting on was that they were one of his clients. No, I'm not joking. Luckily his e-mail address is a bit obscure, so that saved my sweet patoot.

I signed him up for other stuff, too. But this, by far, was the best.

So, now it's your turn. Craigslist is still out there. Would I endorse such renegade revelry? Of course not, that would be naughty of me. But if by chance you do decide to exercise your spiritual gifts in this area, as long as no one gets hurt, you have my blessing. And Dan's. But he's at work right now so he's too busy to tell you that himself.