This is Sawyer at 3. He's pouting. You would be too if you had me for a mom.One day, when he was 3, we had taken his sister to Kindergarten and he was unusually quiet. Sawyer is never quiet. He was actually kind of sad and on the verge of tears.
"What's wrong, Buddy?" I asked.
With complete sincerity he asked, "When I get big will my wee-wee fall off like Hailey's did?"
You know it took everything I had in me not to fall over laughing.
"No," I said. "Your wee-wee will never fall off. You will have it forever."
Obvious relief filled his face as he said, "That's good cause I love my wee-wee. It's my favorite thing."
"Yes, Honey. I know." And he gave me a big hug of relief.
So let's talk kids. What's the funniest thing you ever heard a child say?
he is not going to forgive you for telling this story to the world. you better delete this when he gets older!! lol!!
ReplyDeleteJennifer-
ReplyDeleteTrue. But about him reading my blog, I doubt he will. Though he can't read yet he says, "Your blog is full of stupids." He doesn't mean people, he means my writing. And he cracks himself when he says it.
Ah, young boys and their boy-parts...
ReplyDeleteWhen I was about ten years old, my brother was potty-training and I was left alone with him while Mom went to the store. (And CPS wasn't even called! Times have changed...) He had done his business in the bathroom, and I asked him, "Did you flush? Did you wipe?" I got an affirmative answer on the flush, but not on the wipe ("I only peed"). I explained, "You have to wipe every time. (I was ten, I didn't know any better.) He protested, and I decided I'd just do it myself - this made him furious, and so he ran around the house with one square of TP hanging off his boy bits, screaming "BOYS DON'T WIPE THIS! BOYS DON'T WIPE THIS!" This is what my mom came home to. I wasn't left in charge again for quite a while.
A little boy in my neighborhood told me about fighting with his brother and said, "...and Romeo kicked me in the nuggets, and I cried." I replied, "I bet you did, that would hurt!"
ReplyDeleteThis just made my day so much better. I can't wait to have kids to field questions just like this.
ReplyDeleteYou are awesome.
I was prego with my second eggo. We were walking the neighborhood trying to induce labor. I told my husband I needed to go home because either my water broke or I peed my pants. I waddled past some neighbors who I didn't really know that well and of course they struck up a conversation. My little darling Claire looked up and said, "We gotta go...mommy just peed her pants!" By the way, my son was born the next morning!
ReplyDeleteI just heard a story from a coworker today - her & her husband were trying to put together a new toy for their daughter... she said, "Dad you have to read the erections"... she said her husband was like WHAT? She said it again... they're trying to get her to now say DIRECTIONS!
ReplyDeleteAh, so many choices...so little time. How about the first time my youngest tried cotton candy. She said, "It tastes like fuzz...only it has flavor." And then I remembered that my dryer liner had been emptied a lot lately.
ReplyDeleteworking in kids ministry a couple of weeks ago i was coloring with a couple of 6 year old girls. lexa had drawn a beach scene with her mom laying on a towel. I complimented her work, and she said "Yeah, my mom loves the beach." Without missing a beat, Sloan looks up and says, "You know what my Mom likes? Wine. She likes it a lot."
ReplyDeleteAll men love their wee wee the most. :) That will never change.
ReplyDeleteWhen I was small my parents asked me to sing "Amazing Grace" for my family at some gathering. I opened with "Amazing grace, how sweet the sound that saved a b**** like me!"
ReplyDeleteI was three. This is still my parents' favorite story.
Where to begin....
ReplyDeleteA friend just told me the story last week of a little girl who saw her daddy naked for the first time and commented on his "butt finger". Yeah...still laughing on that one.
I don't believe in making up names for parts of the body (somehow that's always creeped me out more than the actual words) or not telling them the truth about bodies and babies. My son was born by c-section, so telling him he came out of my belly was the truth, and I dodged the whole issue of babies and how they generally get born.
My payback came when my neighbor invited us to see our kittens being born. He asked if he was going to be able to see them come out of her belly. I said, "Nooooo....um....they will come out of her vagina." "Oh" was about all he had to say about that.
It was a very reverent moment, the mama cat, Feisty, in labor. We were quiet and watching patiently. Suddenly a head started coming out, and my wonderful son started jumping up and down, and saying rather loudly, "THEY'RECOMINGOUTOFHERVAGINA!" He said it over and over and over. He told everyone for WEEKS about how those kittens came out.
Good parenting, c'est moi.
Forgot to mention my son was 4 at that time.
ReplyDeleteBy the way...have you seen this? PG13.
Or in my house, PG4.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_RyHQlnMvWg
My son's father and I separated right about the time we started to potty train. One day my son was with his father - in the bathroom - he looks up at his dad and says, "Daddy, did you know that Mommy doesn't have a pee pee like you and me?" His father replied in the affirmative. My sons response - "bummer, huh?"
ReplyDeleteMy 4 yr old girl was picking at her booty for about a minute on Saturday night. I told her to stop itching her butt and go re-wipe. She said loudly " I don't itch, my underware are stuck in my butt".
ReplyDeleteWelcome to the world of wedgies
Too many to mention, so I'll mention the latest.
ReplyDeleteSon: Your face looks beautiful in the sunlight.
Me: What?
Son: Nothing, just practicing...
Daughter: Mom, I think I'm going to look just like you when I'm older, only skinnier.
Me: Ahem!
An older woman in the DMV was staring at my son, about 4 years old at the time. He smiled at her and she said, "You have beautiful dimples." He screamed "I do NOT!" and got mad. He continued crying and finally pulled up his shirt and said, "I'm a boy. I have HANDSOME nipples. See?" Couple of years later, I found out he had hearing problems. Oops.
ReplyDeleteWhen my youngest was probably about four my husband unexpectedly walked out of the bathroom without his clothes on.
ReplyDeleteHer comment: "Looks like you've got two frogs in a sack!"
wv dishings
I teach elementary aged students in Sunday school - 1st - 5th grade... one Sunday one of the boys passed gas, and one of the girls commented on the fact. I just said, "Get used to it, MOST boys don't mind passing gas in front of people." Without breaking stride in her coloring, one of the girls said, "Yeah, my dad stands in front of the TV and farts ALL the time." I'm sure her dad, who is one of our deacons, would be thrilled to know his daughter didn't mind sharing this with the entire class!!!!
ReplyDeleteMy kid brother Tim was around 3. I came downstairs to find him in the kitchen trying to get the handle of the toaster down. (It was very tempermental.) He said, "Mickey, come here and help me flush this thing."
ReplyDeleteBy the way, what Mandy said. It's true. Also, the funniest thing in the world to men is farts.
I know this 9-year-old boy who was a curious 2-year-old at one point. He asked me back then, "Are you brown all over?"
ReplyDeleteThere was a time more recently when I was helping out in Sunday School. We were talking about how we are all family because we all have the same Father. A 6-year-old girl (who was excited about this because she's an only child) says, "And Jason's (me) my brother, even though his skin is brown."
I think I need to hang around more black kids.
MajorMike, boys aren't the only ones who think farts are the funniest thing in the world. I can't say the word w/o giggling. This horrifies my husband...but it doesn't stop him from giggling at his own farts so I figure we're even.
ReplyDelete