Deluxe Hugs $2

When I was in high school I was a part of a clown ministry. (Cue mocking, laughing and pointing, etc.) My clown name was Sassafrass and grease paint was my spiritual gift. But you know how some people have a big heart but absolutely no clue what they're doing? (But enough about my blog...) We had someone like that in our clown troupe (which is kind of like a gang but with far less class). She had this really annoying, high pitched voice, her make-up bordered on horror flicktastic, and she carried a sign that said, "Kisses: $5.00" (Can I be the first to say I don't think it's a good idea to sell physical contact of any kind in the projects of the inner city?) Nevertheless, she followed small children and adults around trying to pawn off her clown love. Ironically she didn't have any takers. So the next day she marked them down to $4, which is a screamin' deal, but was denied. Every day it went like this: selling intimacy at bargain basement close out prices, chasing down potential customers, being loud and terrifying children. Ahhhh, missions. By the end of the week she carried a sign that said, "God's kisses are free!!", which is good to know.

When I saw this clip I had to share my clown tonsil-hockey tail. But the story pales in comparison to what you are about to watch. Before watching, take a trip to the bathroom, spit out your food, and park your kiester. Turn up your speakers and let the insanity begin.