tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8840304789503373528.post7077679259442323976..comments2023-10-19T02:21:30.858-07:00Comments on Stacy from Louisville: Since When Are Men Stupid?Stacy from Louisvillehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10073539622676635354noreply@blogger.comBlogger38125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8840304789503373528.post-69675361950588821342009-03-09T07:55:00.000-07:002009-03-09T07:55:00.000-07:00Loved this post - I SO hate the typical sitcom set...Loved this post - I SO hate the typical sitcom setup of hot, demanding wife vs. fat slob husband. It's so harmful to both sexes - it's demeaning to women, because it sets the standard that a woman is required to always look amazing AND manage everything because she can't ever really trust her husband - and it's just plain degrading to men. Hate, hate, hate that setup - in movies, in TV shows, in plays, everywhere.Jamiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06029316036310623329noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8840304789503373528.post-38604629806834476482009-02-16T12:49:00.000-08:002009-02-16T12:49:00.000-08:00Wow! I've been saying this for years as i was rai...Wow! I've been saying this for years as i was raising my daughter. As Women of God, we need to filter what we watch, hear, and speak...and then filter what goes into our kids. Men are so important - we must be encouragers and women who lift up, not women who bring down. Kudos!Whitleighsmomhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09813098490881000051noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8840304789503373528.post-35520246490363463212009-02-16T10:56:00.000-08:002009-02-16T10:56:00.000-08:00You know, I know many men that are little more the...You know, I know many men that are little more then "shells", and that alone is enough motivation for me to avoid it in my marriage. <BR/><BR/>On the other hand, I do think there are times when women just need to vent to each other so they can calmly deal with things at home, (or see how irrational we are being by getting so upset over small stuff).Glennahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17107558482848466735noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8840304789503373528.post-76925737550556049752009-02-13T12:22:00.000-08:002009-02-13T12:22:00.000-08:00I'm a guy but I'm not married. I've definitely see...I'm a guy but I'm not married. I've definitely seen this in my parents relationship more than a few times and in other friends' parents relationship as well. I think you nailed this on the head though.<BR/><BR/>I think it starts in elementary school. "Girls are from Mars and get more candy bars. Boys are from Jupiter and get more stupider." I would enjoy some candy bars. And personally, I came from Earth. I've never even been to Jupiter. And if I could go there I wouldn't want to. I'd prefer Pluto, which isn't even a planet anymore.Ryan Bhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18271573611813499721noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8840304789503373528.post-67502100065033079102009-02-13T09:18:00.000-08:002009-02-13T09:18:00.000-08:00Stacy, thanks for the remix! But, if i can add on...Stacy, thanks for the remix! But, if i can add one thing....most men are more respect starved than sex starved. I don't mean to be crass, but it's easier in our society to find sexual gratification than it is to find respect. I'm one of the blessed ones, but i know many who aren't.<BR/><BR/>I think the arcade is fantastic!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8840304789503373528.post-50513093610415119342009-02-13T06:31:00.000-08:002009-02-13T06:31:00.000-08:00Joanna Sept 6 @ 9:59 is so on target.Thanks for th...Joanna Sept 6 @ 9:59 is so on target.<BR/><BR/>Thanks for the remix, Stacy. You and Dan have a blast at that arcade!vanillahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11978025976591113499noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8840304789503373528.post-82946306694833051412009-02-12T13:03:00.000-08:002009-02-12T13:03:00.000-08:00Thanks, Stacy. I know that I have it really REALL...Thanks, Stacy. I know that I have it really REALLY good. Jim is amazing to me, and I know that I complain more than I should about the working late, working lots.... He's providing. I need to be as good to him as he is to me. Or better. Needed to hear that. :)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8840304789503373528.post-83337876240865373062009-02-12T07:13:00.000-08:002009-02-12T07:13:00.000-08:00Thanks Stacy! Great post, great reminder. I'm post...Thanks Stacy! Great post, great reminder. I'm posting it on my F/B page. If you prefer I don't just let me know and I'll remove it. Thanks again!jenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15816682217049888031noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8840304789503373528.post-27900919958622217662009-02-12T06:15:00.000-08:002009-02-12T06:15:00.000-08:00I heard a well-known local minister once say that ...I heard a well-known local minister once say that if you do something consistently for thirty days, it will become a habit. I tried this regarding my husband and giving him a compliment of some sort each day for thirty days. It really does work. I appreciate a compliment and love to be built up, but I personally think men (or my man, anyway) need to hear they're appreciated as much or more than women.<BR/><BR/>I do share funny stories about my husband with my friends. I wouldn't be hurt if he shared the same type of stories about me.<BR/><BR/>Like Helen said, the differences between men and women can be very funny. Never let it be said God doesn't have a sense of humor.Jennyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07310731482338617664noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8840304789503373528.post-31330175338833238192009-02-12T05:51:00.000-08:002009-02-12T05:51:00.000-08:00Excellent post... right on target. Reminders of th...Excellent post... right on target. Reminders of this type should find their way into the lives of wives more often! Just watched Fireproof (okay, a little late, but couldn't make it while in theaters!) and while my husband and I were watching I couldn't help but be thankful that we have a good marriage... but I also know that even "good marriages" are just one step away from "bad marriages"... attitude is everything... and constant adjustments to our attitudes towards our spouse and their needs are essential! Thanks for such a wonderful way to start the day!Lynnhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12083175912948986487noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8840304789503373528.post-77335647720906601072009-02-12T04:24:00.000-08:002009-02-12T04:24:00.000-08:00You are not only a wise mother, but a wise wife as...You are not only a wise mother, but a wise wife as well.<BR/>I absolutely agree with you---<BR/>Thought your comment about how to convey respect for your husband to your children--- I think this is one of the most valuable things we can give the, in terms of their future marital happiness. I have tried to always be clear with the girls that "Daddy is the boss." Since there can really only be one head of the household, and the Bible says it should be him, it is.<BR/><BR/>The sex thing: I went to a Denise Glenn conference several years ago, and here is what she said: "Name three ways your husband knows you love him...........<BR/>....and the first two don't count."<BR/>(thank you, thank you everyone, I'll be here all week)<BR/><BR/>It has taken me years to realize that this is truly the best way for my guy to know he's loved. It just seemed too pat, too obvious, too easy---- It wasn't nuanced and thoughtful, and sacrificial, like I thought showing love should be. <BR/>Especially to my husband---he's different than other men, I thought---he's super intelligent, patient, thoughtful, restrained, refined. He's just not that...simple. Coarse. Etc.<BR/>But over the last few years I have reallly come to understand the language of love he needs from me. Boinking, short and sweet. That's what makes him feel loved.<BR/><BR/>And of course you nailed the REAL way to be a good wife (mother, friend, co-worker, neighbor, sister, daughter, etc.): Know and love Jesus.<BR/><BR/>This was a great way to start the day, Stacy. I went from SCL to Bible to Stacy---recipe for happiness.heartafirehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02646414382941213912noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8840304789503373528.post-29748578354125728922008-09-20T21:43:00.000-07:002008-09-20T21:43:00.000-07:00Wow. Amazing post...Some of these comments are ver...Wow. Amazing post...<BR/>Some of these comments are very disheartening... if I was praying anymore I'd pray for ya'll.. but I'm going through some stuff with God and haven't prayed in the longest time..<BR/>But it just amazes me that people actually do this!! Just joking is understandable.. but constantly bashing your husband... I don't get it. I'm only 18 so not married yet but I hope I NEVER turn out like this... <BR/>But I think it can go both ways. I've seen more men belittling their wives.. saying they're not pretty enough and such.. I'm so so glad I have such positive couple role models at my church!! I come from a broken home so it's nice..<BR/>Something else I've noticed since I've become a Christian (which was only the beginning of this year) is all the GOSSIP and "polite bashing" that goes on in a church. It drives me absolutely crazy. I hate it. There's this one lady.. a friend of mine's mom.. who sat there and told me about her neighbour's whole life story for like 10 minutes... how his wife was cheating on him and how he shouldn't have worked so many hours and I'm like what the heck. It amazes me that some Christians think they are better than everyone else. Also one time my YOUTH PASTORS WIFE, not a girl in youth, was sitting there with a bunch of youth girls talking about how some girl who wasn't there wears short shorts and is a you know what.....<BR/>I really don't get it.. I think gossiping is one of the easiest sins to prevent.. but meh.. I'm rambling so I'll stop. <BR/>But Stacy as a young girl I really admire you!!! Thanks for writing this... i heart SFL!!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8840304789503373528.post-28181851799662389492008-09-20T14:12:00.000-07:002008-09-20T14:12:00.000-07:00Stacy, I came over here from SCL and just wanted t...Stacy, I came over here from SCL and just wanted to say THANK YOU!!! This post was spot-on. I get frustrated with TV and media depicting all men as idiotic, beer-guzzling baffoons. My husband is nothing like that. Yes, he is a big kid but that's one of the things I love about him. He matches my sarcasm, makes me laugh, is godly and wants God's will for our lives, and is honestly my BESTEST friend. <BR/><BR/>This post is a great reminder that there is no reason for me to gripe about him. One day last week, he even put on his Facebook status that he had "the most beautiful wife." I followed with a complimentary status about him and then one of our single friends put on her status that she wished she had someone who would write super-duper Facebook statuses about her! :) So, I think it's women's jobs to lift up their husband so that other women who may be unhappy or who are single can see that men really aren't as idiotic as pop culture portrays.LeLehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03789410692486191482noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8840304789503373528.post-28981325220121856082008-09-19T09:05:00.000-07:002008-09-19T09:05:00.000-07:00I remember a guy in a small group coming hope from...I remember a guy in a small group coming hope from a rather well known men's gathering that was hugely popular in the 90's saying everything that happened was the man's fault. It took some serious discussion with my wife to undo that little bit of stupidity.bignateymhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10795818454897093247noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8840304789503373528.post-8657147891607107742008-09-18T16:41:00.000-07:002008-09-18T16:41:00.000-07:00I couldn't read this without posting a comment. T...I couldn't read this without posting a comment. <BR/><BR/>THANK YOU SfL!!!!<BR/><BR/>I dated a woman a few months ago who was all sweetness and light when we first started dating. After a month or so she started treating me horribly, running me down, mocking me in front of others (including my parents), etc, etc....<BR/><BR/>Needless to say the relationship ended when she broke up with me over...get this...my lack of understanding over how she needed to meet up and make out with other guys. I was just supposed to understand and go along with it. <BR/><BR/>Even after we broke up, she still tried to pull that stuff. Changing phone number and blocking her from emailing me worked pretty good I think. <BR/><BR/>So, from all of us guys who have been run down, and treated like garbage. Thanks.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8840304789503373528.post-8657279252327212222008-09-18T15:27:00.000-07:002008-09-18T15:27:00.000-07:00My late wife would go to her all-girl small group ...My late wife would go to her all-girl small group and talk about me. I’d hear about it afterwards – often from her girlfriends’ husbands. It was all, “Steve did this wonderful thing for me the other day”, or “Steve said that incredibly deep thing” – always building me up. She was like that – unabashedly boasting about me – which is strange, because I’m certainly nothing to boast about. But it had a chain reaction: (1) it was a preemptive tone-setter and stopped any of the other women beating up on their husbands in the group (not that they would - they were a lovely group); (2) it encouraged the other women to brag about their husbands to the group; (3) they told their husbands in private and their husbands got the competitive bug a bit and maybe even got a bit nicer to their wives; (4) it got back to me and made me stand taller about myself; (5) it made me want to do consciously all those things which she saw me do unconsciously, and (6) of course I bragged about her too. (Even more.) Still do (but you know that).<BR/><BR/>She went Home several years ago, but memories of someone who finds new ways to sneak in some vicarious love can never diminish.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8840304789503373528.post-64997505477180391192008-09-18T10:21:00.000-07:002008-09-18T10:21:00.000-07:00Somewhat related story:It is near impossible to ev...Somewhat related story:<BR/><BR/>It is near impossible to ever find a Father's Day card for my Dad! He's an honest, wise, and hardworking man. He doesn't drink alcohol, he doesn't fish, and he doesn't play golf. <BR/>Over half the cards deal with witty remarks about how dads are lazy, stupid, and drink all the time. The other half deal about a father's bitter attitude toward golf or fishing. <BR/>I looked at all these cards, and started to realize that either my dad is one unique guy (and maybe he is because he's certainly special to me) or there's a message being preached here that doesn't exactly add up...maybe it's both.Trigunhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11188986721210498555noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8840304789503373528.post-36833972363352429862008-09-17T09:14:00.000-07:002008-09-17T09:14:00.000-07:00Hi SfL!This is my first time checking out your blo...Hi SfL!<BR/><BR/>This is my first time checking out your blog, and I was sifting through all your amazing posts, just laughing it up till I found this one. This is an absolutely amazing post.<BR/><BR/>I'm 17, but you could call me a really weird teenaged girl. I'd rather hang out with a guy, than a girl. Not because I'm boy crazy, but I tend to enjoy their company better than girls. In my old sunday school class I remember almost getting in a fight with my sunday school teacher. One girl in my class decided to say "Boys are stupid!" and I replied "Yeah, but girls are stupid too. We're catty and we can't let anything go." and all the girls agreed. Then my sunday school teacher decided to exclaim "But you will realize that all boys are more stupid than girls!"<BR/><BR/>That kind of comment really irritates me. I was so tempted to say "So this is why you're 30 and still not married!" But... I bit my tongue.<BR/><BR/>I might be a weird teen cause I read so many Focus on the Family books or something. So I "understand guys minds" or whatever. My mom practically reraised herself with Focus on the Family books, so she buys alot for me too.<BR/><BR/>Another reason why I'm weird is because I love to journal, and in my journal I give my future self advice. (yes, you may laugh) So I'm going to print this up and tape it in for me to read in the future. :-D<BR/><BR/>Thanks Stacy from Louisville!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8840304789503373528.post-64934239620094910002008-09-12T02:48:00.000-07:002008-09-12T02:48:00.000-07:00Yes! I hate how men, particularly husbans/fathers,...Yes! I hate how men, particularly husbans/fathers, are portrayed on TV. Practically every "family" sitcom I've seen in recent years has the buffoonish dad and the smart, beautiful mom. <BR/><BR/>Upon revisiting the "Berenstein Bears" books from my chidhood with my daughter, I decided I would not get those for her, either. The dad bear is an idiot! I don't want my daughters growing up thinking that is the norm among men. Her dad is nothing like that, and she should expect nothing less in men as she grows older.<BR/><BR/>I wonder whether the ceaseless man-bashing in the media has the effect of lowering the bar for men in real life. If both men and women think that infantile men are the norm, young women will accept far worse treatment than they should, and young men will have no reason to step up and mature.<BR/><BR/>And the husband-bashing among women. I get quiet, for I really have nothing to complain about. And, really, I do think it is disrespectful, gossiping behind someone's back, whether a man or woman. But I do listen and often sympathize, and I wonder if that's really the right response. I also end up thinking, "wow, I'm glad I don't have YOUR husband!" But now I wonder how many complaints are exaggerated. I should keep that in mind next time.Jenniferhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13005985982725824147noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8840304789503373528.post-84016521731355266272008-09-10T21:07:00.000-07:002008-09-10T21:07:00.000-07:00Stacey, thanks for posting this. As a single woman...Stacey, thanks for posting this. As a single woman (38 years old, never married), I am saddened to see how men are treated in our society. I am especially saddened by the Christian couples in whom I see this trend. <BR/>Like you, I have been silent when I've heard women bashing their husbands, or Christian single women bashing Christian men (and all men in general). It is time for us to take a stand against it. It is time for us to live the blessing that God has promised us. That comes from being obedient to Him and honoring and respecting the men in our lives. <BR/>Thank you for being vulnerable and sharing your own struggles.<BR/><BR/>Blessings to you!Gabrielehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10661394828507243550noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8840304789503373528.post-6310633100418921962008-09-07T21:01:00.000-07:002008-09-07T21:01:00.000-07:00Hooray! I love you and I love this entry. It rem...Hooray! I love you and I love this entry. It reminds me a lot of the stuff in "Created to be his Help Meet." Just one of the books that changed my marriage. :o) Also "Love & Respect" and "For Women Only" (which I already know you referenced in your most recent post). My husband's not perfect, but as the wife and mom, my attitude sets the tone. The sad thing is seeing the brokenness in marriages around us, like our parents, and realizing where it begins: love, and respect. <BR/><BR/>PS - joanna, I heart you.Laurenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02944994623159561187noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8840304789503373528.post-86888827572114727062008-09-07T16:44:00.000-07:002008-09-07T16:44:00.000-07:00Some friends and I used to get out every month or ...Some friends and I used to get out every month or two to meet at a scrapbook store for an evening (until feeling perpetually 'behind' on my albums made the whole thing more of a stress than a hobby!). I was always amazed by the way the women who were there talked about their husbands. There were two who apparently came every week, who would go on and on about how useless, uncaring, unsupportive (blah, blah, blah) their husbands were. But in overhearing their (loud!) conversations, we figured out that each of their husbands had built them entire ROOMS in their homes, specifically and extravagantly equipped for scrapbooking. And let them spend $100's, actually $1,000's on supplies and materials for their hobby. And let them go out every single Saturday night to eat at a restaurant and then go to this store to spend more money and enjoy their hobby with a friend. And we just couldn't understand how a man who does all of that for his wife could truly be so useless, uncaring and unsupportive.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8840304789503373528.post-15438701517480475592008-09-06T21:59:00.000-07:002008-09-06T21:59:00.000-07:00Sociology student answer- Women have been socially...Sociology student answer- Women have been socially conditioned by media representations of men that are influenced by extremist feminist ideologies to believe that men are biologically determined to be of inferior intelligence to people of the female sex. <BR/><BR/>Real english version- The media has shown us rubbish about how genders relate and we've believed it.<BR/><BR/>The truth- Sin has messed us all up big time including in this area.Joannahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02202063723994341973noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8840304789503373528.post-36811082343442600812008-09-06T20:26:00.000-07:002008-09-06T20:26:00.000-07:00fb, thanks for the book recommendation, I will hav...fb, thanks for the book recommendation, I will have to check it out.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8840304789503373528.post-3312203126521895012008-09-06T20:14:00.000-07:002008-09-06T20:14:00.000-07:00Wow, you nailed it well. I have been married for ...Wow, you nailed it well. I have been married for 5 years and have come to believe that I am a worm and a fool. For 4 years my wife has told me how dumb I am and she keeps taking the wheel, in all matters. I have come to believe every word of it too. I want a divorce, but I honestly fear her. She has become a pitbull and I a mouse. I endure quietly, for when I speak up, she wins the argument.<BR/><BR/>Please pray for us.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com