Thursday, May 28, 2009

A Public Service Announcement From SFL

There are many government organizations that support this campaign. Have those you love tested before it's too late.

What will YOU do to prevent cooties?

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

He Was Injured Bad

Yesterday's post can be summed up with this sentence: Once they find it, it's their favorite thing. We are of course talking about wee wees. I would use the proper medical term but I'm not mature enough to type it without giggling. Fortunately, Susan O. knows someone who isn't afraid to come out and say it. Here he is...

On another somewhat related topic my daughter (7) asked me this: "If you have a bathing suit with two pieces it can be immodest. But what if you forgot to put the top on? Would that just be a 50/50 sin, because, you know, you just forgot? Or is God gonna be mad?"

What do you think? Keeping theology and doctrine in mind please let me know how you would answer her question.

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

"It's my favorite thing."

This is Sawyer at 3. He's pouting. You would be too if you had me for a mom.

One day, when he was 3, we had taken his sister to Kindergarten and he was unusually quiet. Sawyer is never quiet. He was actually kind of sad and on the verge of tears.

"What's wrong, Buddy?" I asked.

With complete sincerity he asked, "When I get big will my wee-wee fall off like Hailey's did?"

You know it took everything I had in me not to fall over laughing.

"No," I said. "Your wee-wee will never fall off. You will have it forever."

Obvious relief filled his face as he said, "That's good cause I love my wee-wee. It's my favorite thing."

"Yes, Honey. I know." And he gave me a big hug of relief.

So let's talk kids. What's the funniest thing you ever heard a child say?

Monday, May 25, 2009

Take THAT Diane Sawyer!

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Contest Winners!!!

Are you gonna eat that?
Congratulations Christy, May 10 @ 11:01 P.M. Send me a mailing address and you bounty is in the mail.
Our random winner is: Chris, May 11 @ 5:33 A.M. Wear the bikini top with pride. Or don't. In either case, send me your address.
Facebook: stacy a small
Twitter: @stacyasmallSFL
Thanks to everyone who played along. Putting together the prize packs for you all is a highlight for me. I consider myself privileged to have such great readers who share this site with me. I love having fun with you!

Monday, May 18, 2009

Contest Prize Pack

I've been known to pack lots of laughs into SFL giveaways. But never before have I packed so much love into one. Without further ado I give you...

The Random Prize Pack of Dumb!!!

Party Bikini Top - Isn't there a little hula curious in everybody? Used to be you had to wear a coconut bra and grass skirt to be legit. Luckily the rules have relaxed a little. (Which is a relief. The husk on those things causes serious fiber chaffing, or so I've been told.) So here's a party bikini top just for you. Notice I specifically did not choose a pink bikini top, you know, just in case a guy won.

Generic Frog Peep Candy - Green and yellow in color, never before has a candy company successfully marketed a sugar-rolled loogie. Three hocks per box.

A left over Kentucky Derby cookie. It has icing. Let's move on.

Cast Awana, The Movie - The less heard of spin-off of Cast Away, both staring Tom Hanks. Speaking of Tom Hanks, what if Forrest Gump wandered into the Cast Awana movie? Imagine Forrest Gump in his Sparks vest, "I many not be a smart man Jenny but I know what my verse is." Precious.

Left Behind II Tribulation Force - Starring Kirk Cameron. Here's what the box says, "Left Behind will have you jumping out of your seat and shouting at the movie screen, as you feel compelled to join the Tribulation Force." Join them? What?? Oh, wait. I get it. Join them to make a better movie. Plus, I've added Mr. Miyagi commentary: "You no kick your way into heaven. This movie very sucky-son."

The Redneck Spoons Playing Kit - Because what else are you supposed to do dressed in your bikini top, eating snot candy, and staring at your VHS box? It comes with spoons, which is spectacular. I took it out of the box and tried to play. I knew I'd be extra super good at it when the first instruction was "sit". If you could manage to be barefoot and pregnant while playing spoons, all the better.

Both winners announced Wednesday.

Thursday, May 14, 2009

Superiority Is Within Your Reach



Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Halloween Candy Tasting

Like I've said before, don't eat while watching this clip. Also, pee before watching or you're gonna mess yourself and we wouldn't want that. Enjoy!

Sunday, May 10, 2009

Caption My Photo Contest

One woman's carnage is another woman's inspiration. At least that's what I keep telling myself. So here you have it, straight from my asphalt to your computer screen: The SFL Photo Caption Contest. (Yes, I took this picture myself.)

There are 2 ways to win. First, come up with the most creative caption for this photo. Or, leave your name and a lame excuse as to why you can't bring it to captionville. There will be one winning caption, and one randomly selected SFL reader. I've never done a contest this way but I think it will be fun.

You have until Thursday to enter the contest. Prizes will be posted later this week.

Game on!!

Friday, May 8, 2009

My Favorite Story About My Mom

When you see a title "My Favorite Story About My Mom" there are certain expectations. Images of hugging and flowers come to mind. Perhaps the smell of your favorite home-cooked meal, or knowing that mom will always be there for you. Yes, these are tender memories. Yet, they have nothing to do with my favorite, now iconic, story about my mom.

Growing up we lived on a wooded, 1 acre lot. We had a creek that ran down one side of the yard. It was lovely, except when there were thunderstorms. Wind and rain scattered branches and limbs throughout the property. On the off chance we skipped removing the debris from the lawn, after a few storms the yard was a real mess.

One summer, when I was in junior high, we had a series of storms that left an unusually large amount of branches on our lot. My mom had this great idea that we could outside and throw the sticks in the dry creek bed. When Dad got home he could burn them. So out we went.

The pile we amassed was probably 3 feet high and 5 feet across. I remember looking at it thinking it was going to make one heck of a fire. Then, out of the corner of my eye, I saw my mom take a packet of matches out of her pocket. I distinctly remember thinking, "Huh. This isn't how Dad burns stuff." But I was half way across the yard and figured this was more interesting that going inside, so I was going to hang out and watch.

She lit a match and threw it on the pile.


So she lit another match.

Nothing. Again.

I don't know how many matches she threw on the pile but she made several more attempts, all with the same result. That's when she turned around, I assumed, to go back into the house. But that's not what she did. No, not at all.

She returned to the pile of sticks - from the garage - carrying...(wait for it)...

A. Can. Of. Gasoline.

She took the gas and randomly sprinkled a little on the pile to help start the fire. She threw in a match.


By this time she was hot, frustrated, and determined. So she took the FULL can of gasoline and dumped it all over that pile of sticks. And friends, we had a riding lawn mower, so it was a big can of gasoline. ALL. OVER. THOSE. STICKS.

She lit a match.

She threw it in.

At first, nothing. Then:


That thing blew up like a Zamboni on the 4th of July. My jaw dropped. I shifted my glance to my mom.

I swear, she easily flew 3 feet into the air, just like on a cartoon. Then, she dropped to the ground, rolled several times and lay motionless well away from the blazing fire.

I ran like a bat out of hell over to my mom. "MOM! Are you OK?! MOM!"

"Yes. I'm...fine...yes." Prostrate on the ground, face in the grass, lifting one arm in the air as if to say, "There's nothing to see here folks."

When I knew she was okay - and only when I knew she was okay - I fell to the ground laughing like I have never laughed in my entire life. We're talking full on, body laughing, no sound coming out because I was literally cracking up over what she did. I was crying I was laughing so hard.

My mom sits up, while wiping dirt off her face, says, "I guess that was too much gas."

At this point, the neighbors are involved, calling 911, running over with garden hoses. It was spectacular.

Today, 21 years later, the story lives on. Night after night my son, as I put him to bed, says, "Tell me that story about Grandma Linda and how she blew up."

Happy Mother's Day everybody. Hope it's a blast!

(Contest on Monday!!)

DC Talk - Say The Words Now

Not the best video but one of the best songs by DC Talk. Turn up your speakers.

Have a great Mother's Day and tell her I can't wait to meet her. She will be so thrilled you probably won't need a card or gift. Trust me, I know these things.

Today's question: What is the oddest gift you ever made for your mom when you were a kid? Or, what is the oddest thing your kids have ever given you? I'll go first but I'm going to share my favorite memory of my mom. I remember the last time she rocked me when I was upset. I was 9 and I felt weird asking but she made it seem like the most natural thing ever. When I was pregnant with Hailey I went out and purchased a wooded rocker nearly identical to the one my mom had because of that memory.

P.S. Contest on Monday.

Thursday, May 7, 2009

Happy Birthday Kid

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

The Stacy From Louisville Get-Off-Your-Duff-And-Find-Your-True-Calling-Guide 2009

Have you ever taken a spiritual gifts inventory only to get half way through and think, "Why so many freakishly ridiculous questions?" Or, do you sometimes wander out of doors, look down at your hip pack so stylishly festooned around your waist and say, "O, Mr. Fanny, how do you think we could best serve at church?"

Well wonder no more, my friends.

Here at Stacy From Louisville I believe everyone should serve in their church or community. That's why I'm here to administer the official Get-Off-Your-Duff-And-Find-Your-True-Calling-Guide 2009

It's very simple. To successfully find your prime area of service all you need to know are your initials. Below you will find 3 lists, one for each initial of your first, middle and last name. (If you do not know your initials please use WTC, for What The Crap is wrong with you.) Put the phrases together and you'll find out the best use of your talents.

For example, my initials are SAS. That would make me a: "Giddy Collate Wearing Failing Seminary Student". WOW! That sounds like it's right up my alley. Good thing I live in the same town as a major seminary. Can't wait to enroll, flunk out, and look stylish (in an 80s Brownie Troupe Leader kind of way) doing it.

So now it's your turn. In the comments section please be sure to share your new calling. We'll all be edified I'm sure.

Please send this to anyone in need. Oh the lives we'll change, dear readers. Churches all over the world will never be the same.

First Letter of Your First Name

A - Darling

B- Crazy

C - Chortling

D - Dainty

E - Leotarded

F - Obtuse

G - Farty

H - Obscure

I - Glittery

J - Twitchy

K - Annoying

L - Confused

M - Craptastic

N - Maladjusted

O - Obsessive

P - Enchanted

Q - Rashy (I really hope you don't have "Q" in your name)

R - Fandangaled

S - Giddy

T - Sweaty

U - Itchy

V - Irregular

W - Squinty

X - Sunshiny

Y - Stagnant

Z - Dogmatic

First Letter of Your Middle Name

A - Coulatte Wearing

B - Paint Sniffing

C - Casserole Burning

D - Pork Rind Sucking

E - Billy Mays Loving

F - Tattooed

G - Belly Dancing

H - Tight Fisted

I - Jazzercising

J - Runny Nosed

K - Asphalt Eating

L - Gnome Whittling

M - Pansy Throwing

N - Weepy Eyed

O - Bunion Scratching

P - Accident Prone

Q - Garden Weasel Toting

R - Hymnal Sniffing

S - Cowbell Demanding

T - Hula Curious

U - Super Hot

V - Bunny Suited

W - Slightly Confused

X - Paste Eating

Y - Swine Flu Masked

Z - Rim Spinning

First Letter of Your Last Name

A - Church Secretary

B - AWANAS volunteer

C - Live Christmas Tree Singer

D - Pulpit Hog

E - Broom Twirling Janitor

F - Missionary

G - Sunday School Teacher

H - Clown Troupe Member

I - Interpretive Dancer (with ribbons)

J - Worship Band Drummer

K - Bible College Graduate

L - Hymn Yodeler

M - Organist

N - First Time Visitor

O - Bi-Polar Member of The Counseling Staff

P - Paranoid Usher

Q - Overemotional Worship Leader

R - Church Planter

S - Failing Seminary Student

T - Bible Banger

U - Pastor's Wife

V - Van Driver

W - Left Behind Author

X - Women's Retreat Planner

Y - Sound Board Dude

Z - Bible Study Drop Out

Sunday, May 3, 2009

An Update & A Question

Tomorrow I hope to get back to posting as usual but for now I have a brief update.

I saw my grandmother this weekend in the hospital. She's very weak and had to have help to get from the recliner to her bed, only inches away. (Seeing her be lifted into bed was heart wrenching.) She has an upper GI tomorrow to determine why her esophagus isn't working. I cannot fathom putting her under for a procedure, but what do I know? (Don't answer that.)

After we all hugged, we were out the door of her room, leaving to go home and she asked Hailey to turn around. "Hailey, you know I love you, right?" Hailey smiled and waved, "I love you too GG." My grandma is amazing that in spite of her condition, she made a point to connect with Hailey knowing it may be the last time. What a gift.

On a personal note I'm having a harder time with this than I thought. Not that I had any idea how this would affect me. It hits me at weird times. For now my focus is to get through tomorrow (Monday) without being in a nasty mood.

(Me? Nasty? I'm sure you're shocked...)

For now, I have a question for you. How do we manage pain as believers? The pain of loss or grief (which may or may not have anything to do with death) can defeat the strongest of us. What was your grief situation? How did you deal with it? What doesn't work? What does?